My Raw Foods diet has been working really well.... I weighed-in at the gym this afternoon and I lost another pound. That means I have lost 40lbs since I started late last year, 10 of which in the last 3 weeks on the diet! WOOO HOOOO! I'm so proud of myself and the way I'm starting to look.
On the downside, my allergies decided to attack me today, and my nose is stuffy. No need to stay away from me, one cannot catch allergies. Hopefully the weather will pan out, and the pollen count will drop again.
I'm looking forward to the long weekend... I'm going to the races at the fair on Monday! Woo hoo! But I have to finish my paper first. I did a lot of work on it today, and I just have a bit more to do. It felt good taking a day off to veg and devote time to one thing. I always feel bad working on homework at work, but its really the only way I'm able to balance getting it done sometimes. Besides, I have nothing pressing going on currently. I'm teaching a couple classes in the next couple of weeks and have been working on client projects, but nothing is outstanding.
I also just put in a contest to win a log cabin! I hope I win! :) hehe
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Feeling much better
I got a lot off of my chest... I have a new perspective, and now I can relax the rest of the day.
Sleeping in really helped me feel better. Then I saw outside for a few hours working on my paper. I got a lot done, but I have some more to do.
Now I'm gonna stick some gym clothes on and kick ass at the gym! I've lost 10lbs in the last 3 weeks on the new diet! May it continue!!!
Sleeping in really helped me feel better. Then I saw outside for a few hours working on my paper. I got a lot done, but I have some more to do.
Now I'm gonna stick some gym clothes on and kick ass at the gym! I've lost 10lbs in the last 3 weeks on the new diet! May it continue!!!
F*cking Shitty Week
I was talking to my coworker Lori today, relaying some stuff that is going on with her, and she said, "Damn, Amy, you are having a shitty week!" I laughed it off, but when I woke up at 3am this morning, I think she's right.
Why is my week shitty?
1. All the drama that happened this weekend.
2. I would have expected Sam to have called and talked to me about this, because he knows how furious I am.
3. Everyone reminding me that I was treated like shit.
4. Running my mouth at dinner last night, I didn't pay attention to what I was eating and stuffed myself on greasy fatty left-overs. Thus why I was up at 3am - Gallbladder attack.
5. Not being able to go back to sleep until my Gallbladder calms down. I really need to talk to my doctor about it when I go see her this coming month, but it only happens when I eat things that are bad for me.
6. Sitting in the bathroom, trying to find a comfortable position, because my stomach aches too... I really shouldn't have eaten that last night.
7. Blowing my nose around 5:00am, because I have allergies, and causing a nose bleed.
8. And the kicker, because of my anti-anxiety medicine, and my new outlook on an enlightened balanced life, I only see the humor not the pain, and I can't cry.
9. Sitting up in bed, clutching my pillow, not being able to cry, sucks.
Thus why I'm writing a blog in complaint. I think I'm calling in sick today.
Why is my week shitty?
1. All the drama that happened this weekend.
2. I would have expected Sam to have called and talked to me about this, because he knows how furious I am.
3. Everyone reminding me that I was treated like shit.
4. Running my mouth at dinner last night, I didn't pay attention to what I was eating and stuffed myself on greasy fatty left-overs. Thus why I was up at 3am - Gallbladder attack.
5. Not being able to go back to sleep until my Gallbladder calms down. I really need to talk to my doctor about it when I go see her this coming month, but it only happens when I eat things that are bad for me.
6. Sitting in the bathroom, trying to find a comfortable position, because my stomach aches too... I really shouldn't have eaten that last night.
7. Blowing my nose around 5:00am, because I have allergies, and causing a nose bleed.
8. And the kicker, because of my anti-anxiety medicine, and my new outlook on an enlightened balanced life, I only see the humor not the pain, and I can't cry.
9. Sitting up in bed, clutching my pillow, not being able to cry, sucks.
Thus why I'm writing a blog in complaint. I think I'm calling in sick today.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Guy Friends
I'm fortunate enough to have some really awesome guy friends in my life who really help me decode the confusing male behavior... shout out to Ryan, Joel, Owen, and Jeff!
In my conversation with Jeff and then with Joel later today, I'm learning that I need to set better boundaries. Sam and I did not have clear boundaries in my opinion. They started very clearly back in October, but began to get blurry when alcohol entered the mix. I'm just having a hard time reconciling the guy who treated me sweetly, and supported me through all of my shit - with someone who knew I was into him, not into me, and encouraged the blurry boundaries. I enjoyed the attention, but it wasn't helping me get over the emotions, it just made me dangle along even more. Pursuing someone in front of me, especially someone who told me she wasn't into him at all, was the wake up call that I needed.
It really is about waking up. Waking up to what is in front of my face, and not living in such isolation. I need to learn to see people for who they really are, not for who I want them to be.
In my conversation with Jeff and then with Joel later today, I'm learning that I need to set better boundaries. Sam and I did not have clear boundaries in my opinion. They started very clearly back in October, but began to get blurry when alcohol entered the mix. I'm just having a hard time reconciling the guy who treated me sweetly, and supported me through all of my shit - with someone who knew I was into him, not into me, and encouraged the blurry boundaries. I enjoyed the attention, but it wasn't helping me get over the emotions, it just made me dangle along even more. Pursuing someone in front of me, especially someone who told me she wasn't into him at all, was the wake up call that I needed.
It really is about waking up. Waking up to what is in front of my face, and not living in such isolation. I need to learn to see people for who they really are, not for who I want them to be.
Wednesday Post
It seems later in the week than it is, I actually thought today was Thursday for some reason. But its good to know that I have more time to work on my paper. Its not officially due until Labor Day, but I would like to finish it early so I can enjoy the weekend and the awesome weather. My friend Stephanie and I were giving each other electronic support in writing it yesterday afternoon. We'd work on it for 20mins, then email each other to chat, and then do another 20mins. We got about 2 hours of work in that way... its great to have someone to help motivate you!
I have great news to share, well, it's not really my news, but I love them so much I'm announcing it on my blog - My friends Ryan and Heather are engaged! WOOO HOOO! I'm so excited for them, congratulations!! I went out with them last night to happy hour at $1 beer night at Red Brick, and got to share in the good news! Happiness is priceless!
On another note, I'm still working on me. I really like me... well, I always have, but now I'm starting to see the full picture of me. Its a lot of fun discovering who I am, and everyone has been really supportive in that drive. Ryan also reminded me that I need to stop planning, anything longer than 6 months away is just a "hope." My only goal right now is to graduate, that's concrete and I will focus on that. Whatever happens, happens. Its a good reminder. I keep saying, especially in light of the drama that occurred this weekend "Lord, thy will be done." I'm okay again to let the Lord take me where I may, to learn what I need to learn. People have always said that I am an old soul, who operates on a different level than others, which may just mean I'm that much closer to enlightenment.
I'm trying to reconcile both sides of myself. There's this very flirty, teasing, sexy side of me that awakens with some men that I interact with... yet there is this innocent, sweet, gentle soul of me who wouldn't hurt a fly. Its two sides of a scale, and I haven't found balance in them yet. I'm either one extreme or the other, but I do know that I won't disrespect myself. And when I have enough, I walk away.
I have great news to share, well, it's not really my news, but I love them so much I'm announcing it on my blog - My friends Ryan and Heather are engaged! WOOO HOOO! I'm so excited for them, congratulations!! I went out with them last night to happy hour at $1 beer night at Red Brick, and got to share in the good news! Happiness is priceless!
On another note, I'm still working on me. I really like me... well, I always have, but now I'm starting to see the full picture of me. Its a lot of fun discovering who I am, and everyone has been really supportive in that drive. Ryan also reminded me that I need to stop planning, anything longer than 6 months away is just a "hope." My only goal right now is to graduate, that's concrete and I will focus on that. Whatever happens, happens. Its a good reminder. I keep saying, especially in light of the drama that occurred this weekend "Lord, thy will be done." I'm okay again to let the Lord take me where I may, to learn what I need to learn. People have always said that I am an old soul, who operates on a different level than others, which may just mean I'm that much closer to enlightenment.
I'm trying to reconcile both sides of myself. There's this very flirty, teasing, sexy side of me that awakens with some men that I interact with... yet there is this innocent, sweet, gentle soul of me who wouldn't hurt a fly. Its two sides of a scale, and I haven't found balance in them yet. I'm either one extreme or the other, but I do know that I won't disrespect myself. And when I have enough, I walk away.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
What makes me feel beautiful?
I was distracting myself from writing the paper when I saw a really interesting article on CNN. An author was writing about what made her feel beautiful, and it was when her work helps other women.
So I started thinking, what makes me feel beautiful?
Well, there is the superficial things. For instance when I'm wearing a cute dress and heels. Or when I just get my haircut. But there are a few times when I felt beautiful just because...
So I started thinking, what makes me feel beautiful?
Well, there is the superficial things. For instance when I'm wearing a cute dress and heels. Or when I just get my haircut. But there are a few times when I felt beautiful just because...
- when someone genuinely smiles at me, and their eyes light up
- after an intense yoga practice and I feel limber and free
- Walking outside and the cool breeze hits my skin
- when I'm training with a group of leaders and they tell me that I'm amazing and had awesome fun with me
- When I'm swinging on the swings
- when I'm flying along the river in a speed boat and the wind is whipping my hair
- when I'm playing with my young cousins and their pudgy little messy hands reach over and grab my face between them and rub their nose with mine
- when something awkward or funny happens and I happen to catch someone's eye at the time and they wink at me
- walking down the street and holding hands with someone
- when I check out my own legs in the mirror of the gym when I'm wearing bike shorts - my legs are hot
- when I finish a knitting project
- On a fall day when I can start wearing my fuzzy sweater
- my favorite pair of jeans and moccasins
- Helping someone who needs it
- late night chats with the girls
- being complimented for my intelligence
- when I'm told that I deserve better
- when my giggles turn into deep belly laughs and I can't contain myself
- when I look at other people with kindness and compassion
- when I sing in church while sitting in my pew, and the light always seems to come into the window and find me directly... I usually get chills
Tuesday
Gosh this paper is getting on my fucking nerves. Apparently my new favorite word is "fuck" or "fucking". Isn't that sweet and wholesome? Bitch.
So my new slogan I read about in my Buddhist book is "Be grateful to all people." I nearly choked and spit because of that. The sarcastic snickering was the best I've done in a while. However, honestly, it is the truth. People who you meet and have experiences with are supposed to teach you something. And the same kind of people keep showing up until you learn the lesson.
What have I learned since Saturday?
I'm in no mood to even begin to go into that now. But its a lesson I needed.
So my new slogan I read about in my Buddhist book is "Be grateful to all people." I nearly choked and spit because of that. The sarcastic snickering was the best I've done in a while. However, honestly, it is the truth. People who you meet and have experiences with are supposed to teach you something. And the same kind of people keep showing up until you learn the lesson.
What have I learned since Saturday?
I'm in no mood to even begin to go into that now. But its a lesson I needed.
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