I'm fortunate enough to have some really awesome guy friends in my life who really help me decode the confusing male behavior... shout out to Ryan, Joel, Owen, and Jeff!
In my conversation with Jeff and then with Joel later today, I'm learning that I need to set better boundaries. Sam and I did not have clear boundaries in my opinion. They started very clearly back in October, but began to get blurry when alcohol entered the mix. I'm just having a hard time reconciling the guy who treated me sweetly, and supported me through all of my shit - with someone who knew I was into him, not into me, and encouraged the blurry boundaries. I enjoyed the attention, but it wasn't helping me get over the emotions, it just made me dangle along even more. Pursuing someone in front of me, especially someone who told me she wasn't into him at all, was the wake up call that I needed.
It really is about waking up. Waking up to what is in front of my face, and not living in such isolation. I need to learn to see people for who they really are, not for who I want them to be.
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