Thoughts

I was thinking about what I wanted to blog today, and there were so many directions that I had in my head to go in. I guess it's just best to list all of them, so they are out of my head and I can stop thinking about them.

1. I'm hurt that I haven't heard from Sam yet. I had sent him an olive branch on Thursday, outlining how I felt, and that if we were going to move forward that we need to have boundaries. Well, I haven't heard from him about that, and it has almost been a week. People keep asking me if I heard from him, and when I say 'no' they usually say, "well, that's a good indication of how he really feels about you." On the surface that appears to be true, but I can't believe that. It will take a lot of courage to talk openly about it, and I'm just hoping that it will happen.

2. I read the chapter on anger last night in my Buddhist book. I'm still rolling that concept around in my head, as it is a form of aversion. The book was saying that it is not that we do not have a right to be angry, but we just have to let it go and forgive. There's a forgiveness meditation in the book as an exercise, and I am going to start practicing that. I want to be free of these emotions for the time being.

3. I love affection. Sometimes I think I crave it. I like to hold hands, be close, and just fall asleep on someone's shoulder. I didn't get a lot of it when I was a little girl, so I guess I'm making up for it now. But I'm really good at being seen and not heard... that's how I was raised.

4. I met my friend Eric last night for dinner and drinks. That was a surreal experience. We went out last summer twice, then I went on vacation and didn't hear from him again. We found each other on facebook, became facebook friends, and he was in Baltimore for work yesterday so we he wanted to get together for drinks and dinner. It was nice to catch up with him!

What else is in my head....

5. I have my performance review today... I'm not really concerned about it, but I was supposed to have it last week. I called out sick on last Thursday, so we had to reschedule.

6. I'm teaching a class tomorrow on Active Listening. I have to do the prep work for it today, but I have 27 people coming to my class tomorrow. I'm hoping that they all show up!

7. BINGO tonight! Tonight is the monthly bingo game at my church, which was on break over the summer. It won't be the same without Fr. Jason there, but hopefully it will be crowded and I'll win. I like bingo.

8. I'm going to see Gilded Lilly on Friday night with Rachel! Maria and I are facebook friends, and I told her I was coming to the show. She wants me to come up and say 'hi,' and she's buying me the first round. It should be a fun girls night out. The Baltimore Improve Group is performing with them, so there should be some raunchy comedy too. I like raunchy - it's fun! hehe

I think that's all I have lurking in there now....