Dumb moment

So I had my first official dumb moment in a while last night. I got home from work, changed my clothes, got all my things together for the gym, locked the door, pulled it closed and realized that I did not have my keys. I stood there for a moment like a fool, as I couldn't get back into the house, nor drive me car anywhere. Then I figured I could just walk the neighborhood for exercise until my Mom got home from work with her own keys. So I did a whole lap around the entire neighborhood, then some meditation on the deck. I did my favorite yoga video when I finally got back into the house. That's the first time I ever did that!

I think my mind was preoccupied thinking about the Law of Attraction series of books. I went to the library yesterday and picked up the first in the series. Its the same principle as The Secret, that each person manifests their own destiny by the thoughts we have. I like that concept, as we are then personally accountable for our actions. Things are not being "done to you," you are a creator on this journey. I think this ties in nicely with the idea of free choice, and you do reap what you sew. My view of Karma has changed as well. I used to think it was fate's way of getting you back, but in reality its all the experiences that you need to learn something from.

Using that approach, I can think the Sam situation is a replay of what happened about 8 years ago with another guy. This time around I actually spent time in person with the guy, was included in his life, got treated the same way, but this time I stood up for myself. In the scenario from 8 years ago, I only met him in person once, talked to him on the phone nearly every day, sat stupidly by while he played hot and cold with me, until it finally came to a point where he found someone else. I didn't say anything to him about it, I just let it go. I always wanted to be given the chance to say something, and I guess you can say that I manifested this opportunity to say it. Popular psychology will state that this type of behavior is true - people get involved in the same type of relationship over and over again because they want a different ending. I was really good friends with that guy too. We still talk on occasion, and actually we'll be going out soon. I'm over it now, as I've had other loves in the meantime, but its interesting how the patterns play out. He did apologize to me, which I accepted, but it was after his divorce.

I can only hope that wasn't what happened, but I am a philosopher so I enjoy pontificating about meaning and thoughts. I can take my own advice from yesterday, but what fun is that? So in my journey to understanding who I am, I can put down that I'm a woman who needs to understand and find answers. I knew that, but I see that play out so often in my blog. I just want to know 'why'.