Once again...

After going through the same thing where I wake up in the middle of the night with stomach and gallbladder pain, based on over-eating at dinner the night before, and promising myself that I will not do this to myself - I do it again.

I had steak, veggies, mac&cheese, salad, and left over fried rice for dinner. The salad was a mozzarella and tomato, which is so yummy. I ate it all. What did me in was the helpings of mac&cheese and rice. Instead of one serving, I lost count. I was really hungry after my walk and I just kept filling my plate. Talking at the same time, telling mom stories of my day doesn't help. I eat slowly, but I'm not paying attention to my plate or my eating and I don't realize how much I've eaten until the bowls are clean. Then, later on, as I'm doing my early morning confessions now, I had a piece of left over birthday cake. I'm sure that didn't help.

I woke up with my stomach in pain about an hour and 30 minutes ago. Not to be gross, but I went to the bathroom, which didn't help, and felt like I needed to throw up. So I did. That took care of the stomach ache, but of course that doesn't fix the gallbladder attack. That is something that just needs to work off on its own. There isn't a position in the world that makes me comfortable. Its not an acute attack, and my doctor knows this happens to me when I over eat. Her advice - stop doing that. If habits were easier to break, I'd be rich. It feels like a dull ache on my right side, under my breast, and radiates to my back. I guess its like a tooth ache or a dull headache for those who haven't had this experience. All I end up doing is trying to wait it out, and not feel sorry for myself in the process. And actually, I wanted to cry about this, and I couldn't even pull out the tears - I did some fake crying to see if I could get myself to cry, and it didn't work.

To top it off, because I can't sleep right now, and I feel like throwing a temper tantrum, my legs are restless. I just paced back and forth by the side of my bed for a few minutes just burn off the energy. It didn't really help. And when I try to get myself in weird positions to stretch my legs, my gallbladder hurts more.

Did I mention my allergies? Oh yes, after my visit to David on Monday night, they kicked in fully. I don't know if my breathing loosened a few things that were stuck in side of me or what. He had his windows open, the scent of flowers were strong.... so I'm sure I inhaled a lot of pollen while doing my deep breaths that may be causing this. I've been using a saline solution to clean my nostrils, which seems to be helping... but my allergies are not helping me right now.

Geez, I can't win for trying. I just got up to go to the bathroom to pee, after finishing and using the toilet paper, I accidentally dug "myself" with my nail, and now I'm bleeding. They really should tie me to my bed, because it looks like its not going to be my day. I'm taking a mental and physical health day, and staying home from work. This is nuts!

To go back to the eating for a moment... I think I'm not eating enough during the day, which is causing me to eat a lot at night for dinner. Yesterday I had cantaloupe, blackberries and strawberries for breakfast with carrot juice. Then a banana, grapes, and for lunch a green small salad with roasted chicken and a plum. I also had a lot of water and hot green tea. Pretty healthy... then I get home and I'm like a vacuum. I also stress eat... and with everything I'm trying to balance right now, I'm stressed.