Disloyal

Okay, so here we go with my goofy sense of self, once again. I call it goofy because I really don't think normal people have this problem, but me, in my over-thinking and feeling glory, has it.

So I've been talking to 3 guys, who don't know about each other. When asked if I was seeing anyone else by one of them, I mentioned that I was talking to other people, but nothing serious. Which is the truth, I have no commitment to these guys, nor have we said anything about being exclusive. But my warped sense of loyalty is starting to have a problem.

I talk to two of them constantly, all day, every day. And both of them usually call me in the evening. Both flirt with me, and I flirt right back, both talk about wanting to see me and planning dates, and I want to see both of them and go on dates, so I go right along with it. But do to the amount of contact I have, and the quality of contact that I am having, I am starting to feel loyal to each of them, and talking and planning with the other one makes me feel disloyal to the other.

In my head, if we're just dating, then I shouldn't be talking to them so often, or be in contact so often. One shouldn't be sending me "xoxoxoxox" every few hours or, "thinking of you" messages.... the other shouldn't be checking in to see how my day is going. I'm not used to guys actively paying attention to me, and when they do, I always seem to think its a little more serious then just dating. In my head, "just dating" means two people who go out on dates, maybe kiss goodnight, but the relationship isn't headed anywhere... its almost the equivalent of two friends going out. Because of the amount of contact, I almost feel like I'm cheating on the other one and vice verse.

Which makes totally no sense to me, thus why it is goofy. I'm not in a relationship with these guys, so I shouldn't feel like I'm cheating. Thus my warped sense of loyalty.... get a grip, Amy!