My Man Type

I get spurts of ideas sometimes and I let it flow yesterday at work and I decided to write another book. No, I haven't written my first book yet on the secret to happiness, but after going through my emotional drama over the summer, I think I can write with more authority on that topic, as I've lived pulling myself out of it.

Maybe because it is something that I know and I can relate to, but I really hold providence in the idea of using the MBTI in romancing. Now, before the die-hards get their backup, allow me to clarify that I am not saying that certain types of people should be with other types. Nor am I saying that certain types are better at relationships. But based on my own experiences in the dating world, I've come to know what I like. And just maybe, I can help other people find it too.

It doesn't really matter to me if the guy is an introvert or an extrovert. I am an ENFP, which pretty much turns any personality type into an extrovert. My type makes me a good listener, so I can normally get anyone talking for hours about any given topic. What matters for me is the last 3 letters, and I'm finding that certain combos of them suit me better than others.

For me, I need to date an N, or an intuitive. I can get along with female S's, but I feel dismissed by the male S's. They don't get me. We have conversations on entirely two different levels, and it is almost stereotypical in the archetype of female and male conversations. I want to talk about the big picture and dream, and they get lost in the 5 senses. They don't get it if they can't taste, touch, smell, etc. it. A male S will cause me to shut down and not open up, because I can tell that they are tuning me out and really don't want to know what I'm saying. I think one of the guy's I'm seeing now is a S. He wants to talk and be in contact with me, but he doesn't want to say anything. On my date with him Tuesday night, we only spoke during commercial breaks, and I can clearly see that me talking during the show was not acceptable. I've also noticed that I get dismissed, even if we aren't around a tv. He doesn't know or understand how to respond to my humor, nor does he get when I'm joking. But I still like him.

I can give or take a T/F combo. Although I am naturally drawn to an NT. They stimulate my intelligence and I like proving them wrong or matching wits with them. For them, it is all about competence. They have absolutely no patience for someone who does not show competence. And God forbid if you try to share information with them and you do not have the credentials to back you up. The F male is not the stereotypical male or the male that is most celebrated in American culture. Although none of the types are linked to sex, a female T is usually called a "bitch" in American culture. And a male F is "artsy." But because I like to be stimulated and challenged in conversation, and like the alpha male type, I am naturally drawn to NTs.

I don't have a J/P preference for my type. But I will say that my theory is that if someone is a strong P, it will take a "weaker" P or a J to pin them down into a relationship. A P never knows what they want, they prefer to coast along and see what happens. A J knows exactly what they want, and I think usually it is the J that speaks up in the pair and says, "I want you."

Okay, so what is really going on here? I don't feel like working on my project, so I'm pontificating to waste some energy on that.