Feeling Raw

On the good side, I got my test results back from my blood work from my doctor, and I am completely healthy! Pretty good for a plus-sized gal! Which means that I do not have a chemical imbalance, I'm just going through a rough time.

I think the meditation knocked down my protective wall. Things that don't normally bother me, for instance stories on the news, that I would normally block out and hardly pay attention to, I now feel emotional about. I never liked it when people were hurt or abused, my gosh, that bothered me even as a little girl - but I was always able to stay unemotional about it, and block it. I can't seem to do that anymore.

I know I bring these things on myself. I had written in a few papers of mine for class that I want to start feeling... that I normally feel numb because I rationalize everything. I only let myself feel happy, or up until now I only let myself feel happy. Now it seems that I am feeling everything. I also asked to start feeling in my prayers. It's like the flood gate is now open. Is this what normal people feel like?

I am apparently a very emotional and sensitive woman. who knew? But my logic and reason haven't been lost... they are in there too - I just need to find balance.