That darn song gets stuck in my head every time I hear it. Its CRAZY! I can hear it now, Lady Ga Ga shouldn't be so catchy!
I finished reading the book last night at book club. It was inspiring and I felt so grateful that I live in a country that does not suppress women like that one. What a tragic and chilling way to live, in fear of your life.
I want to knit, not work on work. Actually, I wanted to stay in bed this morning and sleep a bit more, then knit some, then work on work from home. But no, hear I sit, in my cube... oh fun. I can't wait until I get my own office. It looks like we are moving in May, and we picked out some office furniture already. I'm hoping I get the dark mahogany set, as I really like dark wood better. I'm going to get a bean bag chair, and one of those ergonomically correct stools so I can move around and be creative from different locations. Its hard for me to sit still and think outside of the box. I have to get outside of the box for that to happen. Inspiration is a good thing.
I have to say that I really like John. We email on and off all day, and text in the evenings to keep in touch between seeing each other on the weekends. He's coming down this weekend to go to an Alumni event with me, which should be fun. I'm going with my friend Jenn, as she got a table and had extra tickets. We get to go to the new campus location, which I've only been to once before. He'll also get to meet more family at my little cousin's birthday party. I've warned him about them! hehe
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Sleepy
For some reason, I must be getting old. If I stay up too late past my 11pm usual bedtime, its hard for me to get up in the morning and be functional. I didn't want to get out of bed this morning, as I was comfortable and having odd dreams about cathedrals, parties, and my cohort in DC. Now that I type that, I do remember the dream I was having.
The night before last, when I woke from a vivid dream, I took the time to write it down in my new dream journal. I'm trying to keep one, just because its interesting to me to see if there are any insights into my unconscious.
Yesterday was a bear. I had a marathon of a meeting that lasted from 11am-6pm where we did a major rework of the material that I've been working on for the project. It was INSANE, but I finally feel like I have some direction. I also started reading the book that is due today for Book Club tonight. I didn't make it too far into it, but I plan to read some more at lunch, and after work before heading over to the meeting. The intention is to at least get through 1/2 of it, so I can contribute to the conversation.
On an AWESOME note - I got my grade back on my paper, presentation, and final grade from my Team Interventions class - A! WOOO HOOOOOOOO!
The night before last, when I woke from a vivid dream, I took the time to write it down in my new dream journal. I'm trying to keep one, just because its interesting to me to see if there are any insights into my unconscious.
Yesterday was a bear. I had a marathon of a meeting that lasted from 11am-6pm where we did a major rework of the material that I've been working on for the project. It was INSANE, but I finally feel like I have some direction. I also started reading the book that is due today for Book Club tonight. I didn't make it too far into it, but I plan to read some more at lunch, and after work before heading over to the meeting. The intention is to at least get through 1/2 of it, so I can contribute to the conversation.
On an AWESOME note - I got my grade back on my paper, presentation, and final grade from my Team Interventions class - A! WOOO HOOOOOOOO!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Project TAM Decommissioned
Straight from the headline of Amy's World.... Project TAM DECOMMISSIONED
(Baltimore, MD January 25, 2010) Project TAM, created several months ago by some members of Cohort 58, was an acronym for a software tool used to "Track Amy's Men." The tracking device, an Access database inside of Amy's head, was used to categorize the men Amy was currently seeing in order to not get them confused. The upgraded software also sent out status reports bi-monthly to members of Cohort 58 in order to debrief and provide input to the project.
Fortunately, after many entries were evaluated in the system, a man was chosen this past weekend. John, Jr., of West Deptford, NJ has beat the tracking system and disqualified all other males involved in the tracking process. His kindness, respect, and genuine honesty, plus sweet adoration of Amy has moved him to the "head of the class." After spending the weekend with him and having and open and frank discussion, John and Amy have decided to update their status on facebook to reflect their new budding relationship.
John was not the only one tested. Amy faced rigorous challenges this weekend: using a map to navigate Philly, meeting the parents and the dog who doesn't like females, meeting the brothers and friends, and most importantly meeting the nieces, aka The Princesses. John's mother, Mrs. Murphy, was heard saying, "Amy is just delightful, please don't let this one go!" Mark, John's middle brother, thought Amy was "stunning" and remarked that he is so happy for his brother. Uncle Joe, current resident of the Parental Murphy's who doesn't speak to guests and normally stays in his room, even greeted her with an incredibly warm grunt and curiosity. Rosie, The Murphy's dog who doesn't like females, showed her love in support by sitting on Amy's lap and resting back against her chest. As an FYI, Rosie is not built to be a lapdog; this was truly a stunning feat! Even Mark's cat liked her, falling asleep in her lap while the group of friends played games at the local Saturday night game night.
Upon arrival on Friday evening, Amy knew it was going to be an awesome weekend when she saw the bouquet of pink roses and Gerber daises waiting for her. And, upon her exit of NJ early Sunday morning, John made her breakfast. When he heard that she liked juice in the morning, he also stopped and got her 3 different kinds: orange, grape, and apple, so she can have a selection. On a more personal note... the intimacies were great that they shared, and everything seems to be working well.
Therefore, the software has been decommissioned and will be now transferred to April. The new software, Tracking April's Men, should be installed next week and will begin production.
(Baltimore, MD January 25, 2010) Project TAM, created several months ago by some members of Cohort 58, was an acronym for a software tool used to "Track Amy's Men." The tracking device, an Access database inside of Amy's head, was used to categorize the men Amy was currently seeing in order to not get them confused. The upgraded software also sent out status reports bi-monthly to members of Cohort 58 in order to debrief and provide input to the project.
Fortunately, after many entries were evaluated in the system, a man was chosen this past weekend. John, Jr., of West Deptford, NJ has beat the tracking system and disqualified all other males involved in the tracking process. His kindness, respect, and genuine honesty, plus sweet adoration of Amy has moved him to the "head of the class." After spending the weekend with him and having and open and frank discussion, John and Amy have decided to update their status on facebook to reflect their new budding relationship.
John was not the only one tested. Amy faced rigorous challenges this weekend: using a map to navigate Philly, meeting the parents and the dog who doesn't like females, meeting the brothers and friends, and most importantly meeting the nieces, aka The Princesses. John's mother, Mrs. Murphy, was heard saying, "Amy is just delightful, please don't let this one go!" Mark, John's middle brother, thought Amy was "stunning" and remarked that he is so happy for his brother. Uncle Joe, current resident of the Parental Murphy's who doesn't speak to guests and normally stays in his room, even greeted her with an incredibly warm grunt and curiosity. Rosie, The Murphy's dog who doesn't like females, showed her love in support by sitting on Amy's lap and resting back against her chest. As an FYI, Rosie is not built to be a lapdog; this was truly a stunning feat! Even Mark's cat liked her, falling asleep in her lap while the group of friends played games at the local Saturday night game night.
Upon arrival on Friday evening, Amy knew it was going to be an awesome weekend when she saw the bouquet of pink roses and Gerber daises waiting for her. And, upon her exit of NJ early Sunday morning, John made her breakfast. When he heard that she liked juice in the morning, he also stopped and got her 3 different kinds: orange, grape, and apple, so she can have a selection. On a more personal note... the intimacies were great that they shared, and everything seems to be working well.
Therefore, the software has been decommissioned and will be now transferred to April. The new software, Tracking April's Men, should be installed next week and will begin production.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Excited for the weekend
I'm leaving tonight in a few hours to drive up to NJ to spend the weekend with John. I can't wait! I haven't seen him in 2 weeks, which is a good amount of missing each other time - so to cuddle up is going to be fun. We are going to spend tonight in watching movies, and then tomorrow go to Philly to check out some museums before heading to game night. I get to meet his family and friends, which should be a good time! Friends and family usually like me, so I'm not worried about that.
I'm looking cute today too, with grey leggins' and boots, with a green tunic top. I even took the time to fix my hair and put makeup on! hehe That comment goes back to my high school days when we didn't care what we looked like, because it was all girls and no one to impress at school.
I'm waiting for the comments from ex-guys that I was interested in... they usually begin with, "see, I told you you'd find a better guy than me who is going to treat you right." I normally snicker back with, "yeah, but it could have been you if your head wasn't so far up your own ass." That normally shuts them up for some reason. hmmmm... I wonder why? hehe
I'm wasting time while waiting to go out with the group for lunch. Last night was yoga and the class was incredibly impressed with my flexibility. I guess they don't expect someone of my size to be able to fold in half and put her feet on the floor behind her head. Never judge a book by its cover.... speaking of books, I have to get the new one for book club and read it by Wednesday.
I'm looking cute today too, with grey leggins' and boots, with a green tunic top. I even took the time to fix my hair and put makeup on! hehe That comment goes back to my high school days when we didn't care what we looked like, because it was all girls and no one to impress at school.
I'm waiting for the comments from ex-guys that I was interested in... they usually begin with, "see, I told you you'd find a better guy than me who is going to treat you right." I normally snicker back with, "yeah, but it could have been you if your head wasn't so far up your own ass." That normally shuts them up for some reason. hmmmm... I wonder why? hehe
I'm wasting time while waiting to go out with the group for lunch. Last night was yoga and the class was incredibly impressed with my flexibility. I guess they don't expect someone of my size to be able to fold in half and put her feet on the floor behind her head. Never judge a book by its cover.... speaking of books, I have to get the new one for book club and read it by Wednesday.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Open-heartedness
In yoga the poses are referenced as opening your heart, and really it just means sitting up straight with our shoulders back and allowing energy to flow. I notice as the day rolls on I get more hunched and hunkered over my computer screen, almost shrinking into a ball. The weight of the world can do that to you!
Yoga helps me remember to open myself back up to the world around me. Last night's breathing session with David was AMAZING. I was processing a lot of things, and actually got into "child's" pose at one point, staying there for close to 20 minutes. I could feel the energy trying to leave my legs as my body wrestled with it. I have no idea what it was, or if it was related to my intention, but it opened me up somehow. I was also seeing a lot of colors behind my eye lids. Its kinda funny, as the dog next door must feel the energy because he only comes out and howls when I'm there and he stops right after my session. We can say they are connected, or not, but it is interesting.
I was reminded, once again, not to strive for perfection. If I'm opening myself to the world, then I need to say with honesty that I am ashamed that I am on anti-anxiety medicine. Please, if you are reading this, don't take offense to it. But for me it means that I am not perfect, something I strive to be. I almost think it gives me a mental stigma that would ruin my credibility as a professional... because that really means I don't have my shit together. How can you trust me with a tough client or a situation if I need to take medicine in order to act "normal"? I know these things are not true, yet that is the mental judgement I give myself. My therapist doesn't help in her definition of why I take it. She's the one that gave me the "it makes your brain act normally" thing. David nearly had a heart attack when I told him that, and he can see why I would have a problem with this definition. Its almost saying that I'm abnormal, therefore I must take a helper to make me normal. Its almost like telling me that its a life-long crutch that I have to stay on forever in order to be normal. I have a plan to come off of it, with my doctors supervision, as mine seems to be situational. I use the data that for 30 years of my life I never had anxiety that I couldn't control, so why need it now? And in reality it was because I was afraid of the emotions that were locked inside of me... that's what caused it. But I'm not afraid anymore, and those emotions aren't hiding anymore.
Sometimes it helps me to ramble... but right now, I really don't care. I'm happy, and having fun, and I can't wait until I see John this weekend! :)
Yoga helps me remember to open myself back up to the world around me. Last night's breathing session with David was AMAZING. I was processing a lot of things, and actually got into "child's" pose at one point, staying there for close to 20 minutes. I could feel the energy trying to leave my legs as my body wrestled with it. I have no idea what it was, or if it was related to my intention, but it opened me up somehow. I was also seeing a lot of colors behind my eye lids. Its kinda funny, as the dog next door must feel the energy because he only comes out and howls when I'm there and he stops right after my session. We can say they are connected, or not, but it is interesting.
I was reminded, once again, not to strive for perfection. If I'm opening myself to the world, then I need to say with honesty that I am ashamed that I am on anti-anxiety medicine. Please, if you are reading this, don't take offense to it. But for me it means that I am not perfect, something I strive to be. I almost think it gives me a mental stigma that would ruin my credibility as a professional... because that really means I don't have my shit together. How can you trust me with a tough client or a situation if I need to take medicine in order to act "normal"? I know these things are not true, yet that is the mental judgement I give myself. My therapist doesn't help in her definition of why I take it. She's the one that gave me the "it makes your brain act normally" thing. David nearly had a heart attack when I told him that, and he can see why I would have a problem with this definition. Its almost saying that I'm abnormal, therefore I must take a helper to make me normal. Its almost like telling me that its a life-long crutch that I have to stay on forever in order to be normal. I have a plan to come off of it, with my doctors supervision, as mine seems to be situational. I use the data that for 30 years of my life I never had anxiety that I couldn't control, so why need it now? And in reality it was because I was afraid of the emotions that were locked inside of me... that's what caused it. But I'm not afraid anymore, and those emotions aren't hiding anymore.
Sometimes it helps me to ramble... but right now, I really don't care. I'm happy, and having fun, and I can't wait until I see John this weekend! :)
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Feeling Good
Tonight I have my breathing session with David, and I can't wait! This is our last session in the 7 series, so I'll be a paying client from now-on, but I think its worth it. We have the most interesting conversations, and I think I'm his most interesting client. The hour long session usually goes for about 3 hours! hehe :) I have a lot to say!
I'm excited about going out to Restaurant Week in Baltimore on Monday night with Stacey. We are going to try a place we've never been in Fells, and its supposed to be wonderful. I love trying new places and feeling fancy when I dress up for dinner. Its so fun for me!
I had an awesome conversation with John last night on the phone and Monday night as well, we seem to be getting along so well. We have the same goofy sense of humor, and he makes me feel good. I like him. My fingers are crossed!
Work has still been a bear. I feel bad because I haven't been in touch with a lot of my friends recently, outside of my cohort. I love you all! I just am so tired when I get home, and I've been working late most nights to get stuff done. And when I'm in the office I'm working frantically or in meetings talking about the work. Hopefully this will calm down.
I had a conference call with the team I'll be working with in Bermuda last night. We were really productive, and I got assigned to do the brochure for our group. I'm really excited about that, as I get to do a lot of creative stuff - my speciality. We also have to come up with a gift for the client system that we will be working with, which is very sweet. I can't wait to get there. I need the change of scenery to continue my healing.
I'm excited about going out to Restaurant Week in Baltimore on Monday night with Stacey. We are going to try a place we've never been in Fells, and its supposed to be wonderful. I love trying new places and feeling fancy when I dress up for dinner. Its so fun for me!
I had an awesome conversation with John last night on the phone and Monday night as well, we seem to be getting along so well. We have the same goofy sense of humor, and he makes me feel good. I like him. My fingers are crossed!
Work has still been a bear. I feel bad because I haven't been in touch with a lot of my friends recently, outside of my cohort. I love you all! I just am so tired when I get home, and I've been working late most nights to get stuff done. And when I'm in the office I'm working frantically or in meetings talking about the work. Hopefully this will calm down.
I had a conference call with the team I'll be working with in Bermuda last night. We were really productive, and I got assigned to do the brochure for our group. I'm really excited about that, as I get to do a lot of creative stuff - my speciality. We also have to come up with a gift for the client system that we will be working with, which is very sweet. I can't wait to get there. I need the change of scenery to continue my healing.
Monday, January 18, 2010
I'm back...
Did you miss me the world of bloggers?
Probably not.. as I don't even know if I have a following but it soothes me to write! hehehe... work has been CRAZY! I've been working late nights, trying to get stuff done, and just when we think we have something its changed. As my coworker mentioned, she now knows what Moses felt like wandering in the desert for so long waiting for a sign from God. These meetings and changes should have happened 6 months ago, not when we are trying to get it done on a deadline. Its INSANITY. This is the sign of crazy people who are unbalanced, right here.
Anyway, I had a great weekend at school. We spent it talking about Cultural Diversity and I finally spoke up about what its like to be a white-person in my cohort group. Which is that we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. Please don't take my writings out of context, as this has been based on a particular conversation I've been having with 17 other people for over a year and 1/2 once a month. It truly pertains to my cohort. We'll see what happens after I made that statement. As there really wasn't room for discussion about it, the activity was just to make the statement.
I had an odd dream last night. I don't even know where to go with that, because I was me but I wasn't me, and I was a character in a movie, which was a dream.... anyway. GOOF!
I'm really looking forward to spending the weekend with J.... okay, I'm going to use his full name - John. My breathing coach, David, pointed out to me that I have a pattern of getting involved with men who have 4 letters in their name. I'm sure a numerologist would have a field day delving into that. I'm going up to NJ to spend the weekend with him and meet his friends and family, which should be a lot of fun. He's met some of my family, so once I flush him out this weekend and vet him a little more, then I'll bring him around my friends. Yay!
Probably not.. as I don't even know if I have a following but it soothes me to write! hehehe... work has been CRAZY! I've been working late nights, trying to get stuff done, and just when we think we have something its changed. As my coworker mentioned, she now knows what Moses felt like wandering in the desert for so long waiting for a sign from God. These meetings and changes should have happened 6 months ago, not when we are trying to get it done on a deadline. Its INSANITY. This is the sign of crazy people who are unbalanced, right here.
Anyway, I had a great weekend at school. We spent it talking about Cultural Diversity and I finally spoke up about what its like to be a white-person in my cohort group. Which is that we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. Please don't take my writings out of context, as this has been based on a particular conversation I've been having with 17 other people for over a year and 1/2 once a month. It truly pertains to my cohort. We'll see what happens after I made that statement. As there really wasn't room for discussion about it, the activity was just to make the statement.
I had an odd dream last night. I don't even know where to go with that, because I was me but I wasn't me, and I was a character in a movie, which was a dream.... anyway. GOOF!
I'm really looking forward to spending the weekend with J.... okay, I'm going to use his full name - John. My breathing coach, David, pointed out to me that I have a pattern of getting involved with men who have 4 letters in their name. I'm sure a numerologist would have a field day delving into that. I'm going up to NJ to spend the weekend with him and meet his friends and family, which should be a lot of fun. He's met some of my family, so once I flush him out this weekend and vet him a little more, then I'll bring him around my friends. Yay!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Date with Gym!
I have a date with the Gym tonight. I haven't been since before the holiday, and it is time I go back. I've been doing yoga to stay limber, but I really need to get my cardio in. I know I've put on about 8lbs, so that needs to come off, plus some more. I'm ready to re-start the weight loss program to become ever more healthier.
I had dinner last night with Stacey at the new sushi place downtown - Ra. It was SO good. We had a couple glasses of wine and a few sushi rolls, and it was great to have girl talk. I told her about J, and she wants to meet him. I am trying to understand the line between wanting and needing, and I just want to make sure that this is healthy with him. I'm not an emotionally clingy person, and I just want to make sure that in the exuberance to share affection with me I don't get smothered in the process. That sounds harsh. I don't want to be a bitch, but maybe my emotions are still closed off... I just don't see the point of getting myself upset over not seeing someone for a few weeks - I have a lot going on in my life that keeps me busy. I've never relied on someone to bring me happiness, and I have a fear that he is going to start doing that to me.
I need to meditate and pray about this... I usually get clarity in the process. But in the meantime I am just going to let it be, and not try to control.
I had dinner last night with Stacey at the new sushi place downtown - Ra. It was SO good. We had a couple glasses of wine and a few sushi rolls, and it was great to have girl talk. I told her about J, and she wants to meet him. I am trying to understand the line between wanting and needing, and I just want to make sure that this is healthy with him. I'm not an emotionally clingy person, and I just want to make sure that in the exuberance to share affection with me I don't get smothered in the process. That sounds harsh. I don't want to be a bitch, but maybe my emotions are still closed off... I just don't see the point of getting myself upset over not seeing someone for a few weeks - I have a lot going on in my life that keeps me busy. I've never relied on someone to bring me happiness, and I have a fear that he is going to start doing that to me.
I need to meditate and pray about this... I usually get clarity in the process. But in the meantime I am just going to let it be, and not try to control.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Not used to it...
It is really sad to say this, but I'm not used to being treated so wonderfully by a man. And because of that, I am totally out of my comfort zone. But out of my comfort zone is a good place to be.
J came down for the weekend and it was wonderful. He is so sweet and attentive to me, sometimes he just holds my hands and stares at me with a besotted look on his face. I'm constantly told that I am incredible, beautiful, and amazing, and it is so nice to hear it. I'm used to working for attention, and now I can just curl up in his arms whenever I want and its there.
He's not the type of guy that I usually go for. I used to like the alpha male type that can go head-to-head with me over issues. Debating over topics, bickering more often than getting along, and having a very intense almost love/hate relationship with them. This is so different. Whatever I want, when I want it. He's just so happy to be touching me and in my presence that it's amazing. I've never felt so cherished before. I have to get used to it. This is what every one wants, and I have it.
I think there were tears in his eyes when he left to go back home. He said that he hated this part, and my reaction was, "well, I'll see you in two weeks!" Its not like I'm going anywhere. I'm used to guys walking out the door and forgetting about me until I call them or email them to remind them that I am still around. Not guys who don't want to leave me. This is weird, but I like it.
J came down for the weekend and it was wonderful. He is so sweet and attentive to me, sometimes he just holds my hands and stares at me with a besotted look on his face. I'm constantly told that I am incredible, beautiful, and amazing, and it is so nice to hear it. I'm used to working for attention, and now I can just curl up in his arms whenever I want and its there.
He's not the type of guy that I usually go for. I used to like the alpha male type that can go head-to-head with me over issues. Debating over topics, bickering more often than getting along, and having a very intense almost love/hate relationship with them. This is so different. Whatever I want, when I want it. He's just so happy to be touching me and in my presence that it's amazing. I've never felt so cherished before. I have to get used to it. This is what every one wants, and I have it.
I think there were tears in his eyes when he left to go back home. He said that he hated this part, and my reaction was, "well, I'll see you in two weeks!" Its not like I'm going anywhere. I'm used to guys walking out the door and forgetting about me until I call them or email them to remind them that I am still around. Not guys who don't want to leave me. This is weird, but I like it.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Shouldn't have lunch by myself...
... because when I do, I start thinking and reorganize the big training project we've been working on for a few months now. Its just when I step back, and hear the updates about some decisions being made, it doesn't seem logical to teach it in the pattern that we are teaching it. But that's just my analytical mind looking at all angles.
I'm really excited because J is coming to dinner tomorrow night. I can't wait! I'm staying in tonight to get ready for the dinner party tomorrow that my mom is throwing, and to work on some of my homework and prep for Confirmation class on Sunday. I really wanted to go out with Stacey and have some girl time, but we'll go out one day next week. J is staying overnight, so I kinda have to get stuff off my plate so I have time to spend with him.
It snowed again. Yay snow!
I'm really excited because J is coming to dinner tomorrow night. I can't wait! I'm staying in tonight to get ready for the dinner party tomorrow that my mom is throwing, and to work on some of my homework and prep for Confirmation class on Sunday. I really wanted to go out with Stacey and have some girl time, but we'll go out one day next week. J is staying overnight, so I kinda have to get stuff off my plate so I have time to spend with him.
It snowed again. Yay snow!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Yoga starting tonight
If I didn't already have a reason to drink, I think after this morning I just found one. I walked into a Queen-Bee Hive at work, and we finally got her out the door and on her way to a meeting.... I'm just glad I have yoga starting tonight. Thank God.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Relaxed
I had an awesome session last night with David... my intention was joy/relaxation/letting go, and we are both pretty sure that I got activated. Especially since he said that I whipped my head around, looked at him, and opened my eyes during this one section, and I have no memory of that at all. I went right back to the breathing that I was doing, which was shallow and fast, and according to his work, that means that I was processing pain. I don't remember any of it, and the time went rather quickly to my guess (even though it was the normal 45 minutes) so that is a good indication that something was going on. Activation just means that I am not "in my head" paying attention and everything becomes subconscious. I slept like a baby last night, and I hope to get the same sleep tonight again.
I'm getting excited about my weekend plans. Friday night I'm going out with Stacey to Fells and we are going to have girls night with some dinner and drinks. Then Saturday, J, is coming back into town to have dinner at the house, as Mom and family are hosting "Italian Night." Our spaghetti dinner at church was cancelled, so Mom decided to host it at the house for the family that was going instead... I can't wait. Lasagna, stuffed shells, meatballs, salad, Italian bread.... wine... sangria... And J gets to meet some more of my family.... fingers are crossed! I also can't wait to cuddle with him again, he's just so sweet to me.
I'm getting excited about my weekend plans. Friday night I'm going out with Stacey to Fells and we are going to have girls night with some dinner and drinks. Then Saturday, J, is coming back into town to have dinner at the house, as Mom and family are hosting "Italian Night." Our spaghetti dinner at church was cancelled, so Mom decided to host it at the house for the family that was going instead... I can't wait. Lasagna, stuffed shells, meatballs, salad, Italian bread.... wine... sangria... And J gets to meet some more of my family.... fingers are crossed! I also can't wait to cuddle with him again, he's just so sweet to me.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Sometimes I Do Stupid Shit
I knew in the back of my head this was coming, yet I couldn't stop myself. I've been eating healthy for months now, and then I blew it over the last two weeks in the holidays, and I suffered for it this morning. After indulging in dinner last night, eating things I really shouldn't have, then having some of my mom's cookies, I woke up early this morning with indigestion and a mild gallbladder attack. I haven't had these problems since the Spring when I changed my diet, and it came back to slam me between the eyes - or in this case in the middle of my chest.
The pain passed, and I went back to bed, sleeping in this morning before heading off to work. I just don't understand why I do that. I knew I was going to suffer for it, yet I can't help but put it up to my mouth. Why can't I walk away? Why can't I say no? I'm not even that hungry, but I crave the taste of it sometimes.
Anyway, I'm on a new mission. J and I have decided that we are going to get into better shape, and we are going to train to run a 5K. I don't know when, but I'm starting now. I'm a new woman, and I'm not going to let this stop me anymore. My body wants to run now, but logically I don't want my body to run because its too heavy and I can do damage to my knees and legs. So I'm just going to continue to work off the pounds until I am at a safer weight to run.
I get to go to David's tonight to breathe... I can't wait. There's just so much to catch him up on! :)
The pain passed, and I went back to bed, sleeping in this morning before heading off to work. I just don't understand why I do that. I knew I was going to suffer for it, yet I can't help but put it up to my mouth. Why can't I walk away? Why can't I say no? I'm not even that hungry, but I crave the taste of it sometimes.
Anyway, I'm on a new mission. J and I have decided that we are going to get into better shape, and we are going to train to run a 5K. I don't know when, but I'm starting now. I'm a new woman, and I'm not going to let this stop me anymore. My body wants to run now, but logically I don't want my body to run because its too heavy and I can do damage to my knees and legs. So I'm just going to continue to work off the pounds until I am at a safer weight to run.
I get to go to David's tonight to breathe... I can't wait. There's just so much to catch him up on! :)
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Finished Paper, and other joyful things
I got up Friday morning, and spent most of the day in bed cranking out my paper that is due tomorrow, Jan 4. I got about 7 pages finished, before stalling to finish this evening - which I just did about 20 minutes ago! WOOO HOOO! Its 12 pages of something, but its no longer on my list of things to do!
I think I found what I've been looking for, but I am too afraid to talk about it yet for fear of a jinx. But have you ever been in the presence of someone who acts as if they won the lottery because they get to spend time with you? Or someone who looks you square in the eye, and with all true sincerity tells you how beautiful you are? Its a humbling experience, and I am so happy that it has finally happened to me. More about that to come as time develops!
I'm reading a new book on healing. I finished the Emotion Code, which I have mentioned before, and now I've moved on to a new book about healing. Not sure yet if its a parlor trick, or the use of mind over matter with some charm thrown in to convince the other person, but we'll see as the book uncovers. Its interesting either way. I need to heal others, its something that I feel is inside of me, and can tap into if I just know how to unleash it. More meditation needs to be done for this. But I'm not so goofy as to not be skeptical. hehe :)
This week is going to be super busy with work and things to do after work. But I can't wait until Saturday! I get to spend it again with him.
I think I found what I've been looking for, but I am too afraid to talk about it yet for fear of a jinx. But have you ever been in the presence of someone who acts as if they won the lottery because they get to spend time with you? Or someone who looks you square in the eye, and with all true sincerity tells you how beautiful you are? Its a humbling experience, and I am so happy that it has finally happened to me. More about that to come as time develops!
I'm reading a new book on healing. I finished the Emotion Code, which I have mentioned before, and now I've moved on to a new book about healing. Not sure yet if its a parlor trick, or the use of mind over matter with some charm thrown in to convince the other person, but we'll see as the book uncovers. Its interesting either way. I need to heal others, its something that I feel is inside of me, and can tap into if I just know how to unleash it. More meditation needs to be done for this. But I'm not so goofy as to not be skeptical. hehe :)
This week is going to be super busy with work and things to do after work. But I can't wait until Saturday! I get to spend it again with him.
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