Date with Gym!

I have a date with the Gym tonight. I haven't been since before the holiday, and it is time I go back. I've been doing yoga to stay limber, but I really need to get my cardio in. I know I've put on about 8lbs, so that needs to come off, plus some more. I'm ready to re-start the weight loss program to become ever more healthier.

I had dinner last night with Stacey at the new sushi place downtown - Ra. It was SO good. We had a couple glasses of wine and a few sushi rolls, and it was great to have girl talk. I told her about J, and she wants to meet him. I am trying to understand the line between wanting and needing, and I just want to make sure that this is healthy with him. I'm not an emotionally clingy person, and I just want to make sure that in the exuberance to share affection with me I don't get smothered in the process. That sounds harsh. I don't want to be a bitch, but maybe my emotions are still closed off... I just don't see the point of getting myself upset over not seeing someone for a few weeks - I have a lot going on in my life that keeps me busy. I've never relied on someone to bring me happiness, and I have a fear that he is going to start doing that to me.

I need to meditate and pray about this... I usually get clarity in the process. But in the meantime I am just going to let it be, and not try to control.