Orientation Day 1

Yesterday I was the last to leave my office, and I was looking around helplessly, wondering if I have everything together to start my new journey into grad school. I felt full of anxiety, and slightly fearful of what to expect.

It's really difficult for me to explain, but I basically get to work under the direction and guidance of the people who invented OD, my field. I'm talking back in the 60s and 70s when the idea of democracy in the workplace was a novel concept, and interpersonal skills were never discussed or broached at the workplace. These people were working on the cutting edge, and really began to define what true leadership and group dynamics means. It's a wonderful opportunity, yet my own self-expectations are now extremely high, as I want to continue their work, and their good name.

I arrived early this morning, having gotten up at 4:30am to finish packing and preparing for my long drive into DC. As I was the first one here, I began introducing myself to my fellow students as they entered, and I realized that we were all having the same fears and the same anxiety.

Us OD people (I'm calling myself one now) like to work in small groups, talk about feelings, and really understand what emotions are present in the room that influence the atmosphere of learning. We jumped right in with a small-group workshop on our Hopes and Anxieties for the program, and it was encouraging to see everyone in the same boat that I am. I felt peace, and my stress level decreased.

I was really amazed about how over-whelmed everyone was with the readings. Yes, it was a lot, but class starts on Friday, and more than 1/2 haven't completed them. I guess that's on me, as coming from the school of thought that I do as I'm told, and the expectation is for the work to be completed, so it's my duty to do that. But, it was rewarding to hear from past graduates who mentioned that skimming was more than appropriate and just having a basic understanding will get you through.

All of our class time is very experiential, meaning we sit in a circle facing one another, and we talk... a lot. We process, talk, process some more, and then write papers about it.

I'm nervous about the paper writing, as I don't do that kind of writing in my work. Apparently we will get an extreme amount of feedback on our writing style in the first 2 sets of classes, an they are looking for improvements in the style. I was also startled to see that a B- doesn't cut it. That's actually below a 3.0, and one will be out of the program, or on probation very quickly. But we met the writing lab folks, who were very clear that they are here to help.

It was interesting how quickly we opened up to each other as a group and established trust. But again, it takes a certain kind of person to do this work, and being in the room with like-minded individuals helps that. They kept reminding us that we were hand selected, and every person in the room had an intense discussion by the administration about them, and how their skills would gel with everyone else. We are the largest group, with 22 people, which brings a variety of skills to the table. They warned us against comparing ourselves, as that is not the intent and purpose.

It's amazing, that everyone we heard speak today, mentioned that this program is going to be a life altering experience. That we are going to learn so much about ourselves that it will shape us forever. Hearing about the Human Interaction Lab that I will be taking, and other work about "use of self" leads me to believe that they are correct.

I'm drained, but I'm meeting some people at 8pm for dinner... so at least I have some downtime to process until then. My room is okay, it's no Marriott (my ex got me partial to them) but at least it's clean, and I have free internet service.