Patterns

I've always been able to see patterns and make logical connections very easily. It's something that comes naturally to me. I don't mean mathematical-scientific patterns per se, but just patterns - the pieces always fit together in a bigger picture for me.

Also, with my MS education, I'm being taught to notice patterns in behavior. That's something that I can pick up easily too - and put the pieces together to make them connect. Usually I am on target with them.

The issue I am having is that of when do I intervene? Morals and values of mine indicate that I should leave people alone to make their own decisions and mistakes. However, logic tells me that the sign of a crazy person is someone who continues to do the same thing over and over again expecting a different result every time. And... if I can see it, wouldn't it behoove me to be a helpful friend and point it out?

But then I feel self-righteous and indignant when I burst happy bubbles - thus I don't. But sometimes, when someone has wronged me, on so many levels, I want to strike back. And my strike is usually more dangerous than my bite. Because I can see these patterns, and know the intimate reasons of behavior behind them, which means I can do a lot of damage.

Is a few minutes of pleasure in getting the strike in worth emotionally damaging them? Do I need to be one of those people who needs to feel better by making someone feel worse? Is that the human element? Or am I to be better than that?

I googled ENFPs, just to see what was out there online. There were a lot of discussion boards with women like me who have a hard time of letting go. It was like reading my own writing, and everyone who responded to the posters felt the same way. Is this behavior truly ingrained so deeply that people all over the world are experiencing the exact same things? They claim its because we love so freely and with everything we have... that when the love isn't returned we mourn the loss of it. And ENFPs never take anyone out of their heart, they just add more people in. In response to that, ENFPs have natural attachment problems. They are usually hurt when they are young very deeply and learn to protect themselves against their very nature. The relationships they have as adults are still loving, but sometimes they never go beyond the surface and become intimate and attached. I don't mean sexual intimacy, I mean the act of truly allowing someone to see into their soul. We are willing to look into everyone else's and love everything we see there, but don't think that will be returned. So we build a wall, block them from seeing something that could potentially be judged, and avoid being hurt. Or so we think.