talk about psychodrama

Wow - what an emotional roller-coaster this weekend has been for me. I don't like that transformational breathing meditation that I did, as it seemed to tap into too much at once on Thursday night, and set me up for a melt-down all weekend. I was thinking and feeling things that I have never felt before, went to a really dark place that I had no idea lived inside of me, and it freaked me out. I'm on my way to recovery, and I feel so much better. This is making me really hesitate helping my friend David as he is going through his "breathing coach" certification. I need to understand if his workshop is like what I put myself through before I make any decisions about it. If it is... I'm not going to do it.

Thank God for my friends. I talked about it with the people at school this weekend, and they were in my shoes before, and are still dealing with intense dark emotions that pop-up for them. It really did scare me, and I thought I was going crazy. It was so good to hear that I am normal, and finally human. I say that 1/2 in jest, but sometimes I feel like I'm on autopilot, so maybe this was my wake-up call.

However, the highlight of the weekend was visiting with my friend Sam. After 2 months it was wonderful to see him, and I can't wait to spend some more time with him tomorrow before he heads back out to work. I heard that people come into your life for a reason, and I'm beginning to really believe that is true. I think we have a good effect on each other; although, I was hung-over for class this morning. After nearly walking into the wall on my way to the bathroom this morning to get ready; there was a strong 5 minutes of sitting in the bathroom trying to figure out if I was still drunk, and if I could actually drive. After my shower, I determined that I was just hung-over and could function. Luckily we did most of the brain work on Friday and Saturday, and today was just prep for next class. But I'd do it again in a heart-beat - Saturday night out was a blast! And we had an amazingly yummy Greek dinner and tasty wine to start it off... I think it was the mind-eraser shot that did me in. Actually, we had 2 great dinners this weekend - the first was Friday night at a Moroccan restaurant in Arlington that had belly dancing. I had the most interesting combination of flavors... :)