Fasting

Okay, that's it, I'm going to start fasting. I had another episode early this morning/late last night that hurt my stomach so badly. I didn't have breakfast, as I drove home from NJ early to make it to church and then teach confirmation. I didn't get lunch until after 1pm, and I was starving. Mom and I went to Outback, and I had too many carbs. I had the baked cheese fries as an appetizer and then one of their pasta dishes, plus some bread. I was stuffed. I wasn't hungry for dinner, but mom wanted to cook something, as she didn't want us to go to bed hungry. So I ended up eating some chicken nuggets and mac&cheese with green beans. My stomach revolted.

I had pain because it was over-stuffed and I couldn't function. I ended up getting sick and vomiting. My stomach felt better after that, but then I had an adverse reaction to the soda I drank to calm my stomach, plus a gallbladder attack from all of the fatty food. I had so much hyped up energy from the soda, that I couldn't lay still. Yet I couldn't get comfortable and fall asleep because of the gallbladder pain.

I finally feel asleep around 2:30-3:00am and the alarm went off at 7am. So not much sleep for me. Luckily I had a long nap in the afternoon yesterday, otherwise I would be really mentally hurting.

I am beginning to understand that I have a food addiction. Why do I say that? Because I know that I have food that I shouldn't be eating, yet I eat it anyway and suffer. I guess I'm just hungry in the moment, and even though I have a moment of clarity where I think "this isn't going to be good," yet I eat it anyway. Of course I could have told you that eating all that food yesterday would not be good for me, yet it went into my mouth. Why do I do that? That's the behavior of an addict. Stuck on something and not able to stop.

I just had pure fruit juice for breakfast, and I've only had some fruit so far today. I'm sticking to it this time, because I like my sleep, and I don't like to wake to pain like that. It sucks not being able to sleep when I am so tired, and I can't get comfortable to do that. I ended up laying 1/2 on the bed and 1/2 off, as it felt better to have my right arm stretched over my head. I don't understand why, but opening my chest cavity and stretching it gave my gallbladder more room to function. who knows! I'm drawing a line in the sand... I'm not going to do that ever again.