Biological Clock

I swear, the more women I talk to, the more I start to understand what is going on with me. I had lunch with my coworker Lori today, she wanted to hear all about my vacation and asked me how everything else was going for me. We got on the subject of being single in our 30s and she asked me point blank why I didn't want to be single.

I thought about it, and I said that I don't know how to explain it. Its literally like my whole entire body is longing for a partner/mate. I don't mean sexually, although sex would be good right about now. I mean everything inside of me wants to have this deep lasting connection with a man who wants the same thing with me. I want the real thing.

Yet, this logical side of me knows that 60% of relationships end in divorce, and there was a new study on the Early Show this morning talking about why relationships fail and what situational factors contribute to it. The idea of the human race being with one partner is no longer the norm, but it is something that my internal body is longing for.

I was telling my other coworker, Jocelyn, about my conversation with Lori and she laughed and said that it was my biological clock. She said that it started to tick for me, and that's what is probably going on. My hormones are sending me signals about "now now now" to have kids and start family life, even though my brain doesn't want that right this moment. She also said that almost every woman goes through this, and it will ease as time goes on.

The weird thing is that even though I have this urge to adhere to my clock, I don't want some random fool. I want the real thing. People told me that it doesn't exist and I'm looking for something that is just a chemical reaction to attraction in the body. But I know it does. I feel the human connection with some of my friends, and I know it has the potential to be deeper with my mate.

Relationships should be built on friendships. I think that's the key that other people are missing and why their relationships don't last. As initial attraction fades, there should be something there to keep the relationship going. If I want to spend the rest of my life with someone, than it better be someone I love and enjoy spending time with, outside of the sexual realm. Best friends have a bond that is lasting and life-altering. Why wouldn't I want my mate to be my best friend too? Or start as my best friend?

I also know that things show up when you aren't looking for them, or things change from how you first categorized them. I'm open to the possibly with any male that I meet, including my current male friends. Who better to love me forever, than someone who already loves me?