Letting Go

I started reading a new book, it's called "Let Go" then the subtitle is something like, "The Buddhist way to break habits." I'm only into the first chapter, but I think it is fitting for some information that I have received recently. Basically it mentioned just contemplating your habits, good and bad, and that we always don't recognize them, it takes someone else to point them out. We keep the habit because it serves us in the situation. But sometimes we have to evaluate if it is still useful. If not, let it go. It should be a good read.

I need to take the advice. Sometimes I can become like a mama bear, defending myself and my honor. I figure that no one else will, so I have to stand up for myself. The line that I talked about, and have been talking about with my classmates and therapist, is that I can be a real bitch in my defense. To counter-balance that behavior, I try not to call people out and let them do what they will. This way I don't have to become emotionally ingrained in it, and it is safer to let them play the role they want, opposed to me leaving a path of the walking wounded behind me. No one every believes me when I tell them this. No, I'm not "too nice." I just have a lot of kindness and patience, but when I reach my limit, I reach my limit. But once I blow up, I'm done. It blows over, as long as I felt like I was heard and my point of view was shared.