In the moment...

I decided to begin blogging because it's an easy way to get emotions and feelings out. I've always been told that writing things out removes it from being pent up inside, and I think it's true.

I decided to call this blog "In the moment..." because those words can mean so much, and my recent life experiences have really made me think of them.

About a month ago, I facilitated a New Hire Orientation for one of our clients, based on the FISH! ideals. Part of the philosophy is to "Be Present", and really be aware of what is happening around you. The other, which I think can translate to many things, is to "Choose your attitude".

Frankly, I think it goes beyond an attitude choice. What the philosophy is really saying is to not be a victim. The only thing you can control in life is your reaction to the events that occur, and choosing to live your life believing that things happen to you willy-nilly, and you can't get a break is foolish.

One thing that happened to me in the last few days is that I had a life altering moment. My boyfriend broke up with me, and it's sad because I am mourning what could have been. I wasn't living in the moment, and seeing what was really happening. His anxiety about relationships in general, and the commitment and time needed to make things work was overwhelming for him. And I'm angry that he did not come and talk to me about it when it first started. But I can't make someone love me, when they don't want to.

This tied in nicely to a lesson I taught on Sunday morning to my CCD kids. And one of the kids told a joke that really brought the meaning home. She said, "There were two muffins on a tray, baking in the oven. The one muffin said, "Damn, it's hot in here!" And the other muffin said, "I never knew muffins could talk!" It's so interesting to me how two people can live through the same exact experiences and see/feel/hear/wish for two very different things.

As my life undergoes more changes: Getting a passport to see the world I've been dreaming about seeing.. starting grad school in the fall... and starting the single life over again; I'm going to be living in the moment and choosing my attitude.

I'll be back frequently to update on how it's going...