Music and the Savage Beast

Yesterday was my mother's birthday, and we used one of her many gift cards from her surprise party presents to go to dinner. On the way home, we had to stop at the store to get some supplies to make cupcakes. My co-worker is retiring and today is his "Pot-luck Good Luck Party!" (yes, I came up with that name all by myself!)

As we were driving along, the song "Midnight Train to Georgia" came on, and I started to sing along. The romantic in me melted when the line, "I'd rather live with him in his world, then live without him in mine" was sung. And I sat there quietly, and mused over that for a long while.

Then, Meatloaf started to sing in the back of my head with the line, "I'll do anything for love, but I won't do that!"

My "In the moment..." learning from that experience is that I think Meatloaf (of all people, who would make millions with a name like Meatloaf?) had it right. So many times people feel that they have to compromise and morph into another person in order to get what they think they want. That is completely wrong.

A real relationship is built on meeting someone who is in the same place as you are, and wants the same things. It's not about giving up who you are to meet the needs of another person, just so your heart won't hurt.

So, what is it that I really want out of a relationship? I want someone who will "meet me where I am" and actually be in the same place. I want someone who can love freely, and give of themselves without reserve. I want someone who has the same values, and share the affection in their heart without fear.

But, all of that needs to happen in due time, and not rushed and faked just to get an end result. In relationships you really can't "fake it until you make it". That may work when you are trying to change an inner belief about yourself, but it doesn't work on other people. It's not fair for me to live with blinders on, wishing that a change will be undertaken if I wait long enough.

I can only live one day at a time...