Fantasy

Well, in the spirit of continuing to be honest with my emotions and thoughts, I've noticed that my sexual drive has increased since I've been off the birth control pills. I went off of them two months ago because I was not sure if they were contributing to my anxiety, as it seemed to get worse when I was on the strongest dose of the pill. We were actually talking about this at by Book Club meeting, as some of the ladies were switching their types of pill, and I didn't realize it could effect my sexual drive. But now that I've been off of it, I'm back to the drive I used to have before I went on the pills 3 years ago.

Which... (all of this ties together somehow)I have to be honest and say that even though I know my friend is not into me, nor does he want a relationship with me, I am still completely attracted to him. I don't know what it is with him, but there is some sort of cavewoman response I have to him when I'm close. I control it well, only offering up platonic affection, but I wouldn't mind if he pulled me by my hair back to his cave and had his way with me. But, considering that he's happy being single, and doesn't think I'm the one for him (I'm assuming) I need to find some other man to take my sexual energy out on... it doesn't help that I also have an emotional connection with him since he's such a good friend.

Must maintain boundaries!