F*cking Furious

Yes, I am up at 6am, because I woke with a start because I am so F*cking furious from this weekend. I cannot even begin to describe the rage that I feel inside. I'm seething.

I don't know even where to begin. I'll start here. I've known since last October when I met Sam that he wasn't into me. Every opportunity he had to tell me that he didn't want a relationship and that I hope I find what I'm looking for, he took. I'm not stupid, I'm not dumb, I've heard him loud and clear. I knew that going to Austin to see him was just as friends, I never expected anything else from it. However, I was attracted to him, and with the way sometimes we get sexual in our flirtation, it was fun, and I had a small nugget of hope that one day, things would change. But I never depended on it, and I never thought that he would be the one.

Enter, Her. I'm not even going to get into it. Because I will probably strangle both of them if I let myself. This is why I am so furious - she point blank told me, at every opportunity on Saturday night when Sam and Ty weren't around, that she is messing with their heads, is not really into them, is using them for the attention, and is an Ice Princess without feelings who doesn't really care who she tramples in the meantime. That was a direct quote from her. I thought maybe it was the alcohol, but it happened so often, that it had to be true. So, when Saturday night we are sitting outside, and I hear my dear friend start to sell himself of why he would be an awesome boyfriend to her and the better catch, I couldn't take it. I was so grossed out that I had to leave. I never got so sober so fast. I told him that I didn't want to ruin our friendship, that I got over him and cried for him for a week because of it when I got home from Austin... all of which is true. But I could not sit there and watch him fall over himself for a piece of ass who is a pit viper. And, I can't say anything to him about it, because all it does is make me look like a pit viper.

I thought maybe I read the situation wrong. So when I went over there for dinner last night, I wanted to speak to Ty. His words to me, "Honey, I saw her clearly the moment she walked into the door." I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't blowing things out of proportion and I was seeing them clearly. I told him my side of the story from the night before, and why I was so furious. The part I left out was that she was all over Ty on Saturday night, telling him she wished he wasn't married. Ty told me point blank that at one point her hand was so close to his package on his leg at dinner, that he didn't know what he would have done if she went farther. Oh, and he told me in the car-ride, that she got out of Sam's bed in the morning, and went to crawl into bed with him. Then Sam followed her in. F*cking IDIOT!

The icing on the cake, when the boys went out to smoke at dinner last night, is that she had the audacity to speak to me. She said, "Are you and Sam okay?" And I told her that we'd be fine, it will all settle down, I always knew that he wasn't into me. Then she said, "are you and I okay?" And I laughed and told her that none of this was her fault, and she has no reason to worry. I went on to say, again, that I always knew Sam wasn't into me, and if they were into each other, the more power to them. She said that she feels bad... I asked her why. She said, and I quote, "I'm not into him at all, he's just comfortable since I know him and convenient." I said, again, "Hey, whatever floats your boat, but if you two are into each other, go for it." At that point, I knew what the old saying "spitting nails" meant. Sam and Ty walked in at that moment, and Ty, bless his heart, tried to distract me, because he knew it was going to get ugly. So I repeated the conversation I had with HER to Sam, leaving out the part about him just being a comfortable convenience. But I told Ty exactly what she said when I asked him to walk me to my car. He thanked me for my blessing, and me, in my ever pleasant glory, flipped him the bird.

So, why am I so furious? Because if he is buying this from her, hook, line, etc, then now I can understand why every one of his last girlfriends cheated on him. I told him a long time ago that he needs to find a better quality woman, and it wouldn't happen. But if he is going after women like her - that's exactly why he got cheated on so many times. I can understand wanting a piece of ass, and if she was genuinely into him, I would be all for it - I want him to be happy. But she's not. Ty knows it, I know it, I know it for fact because she told me herself. And, here, more icing on the cake. When she and I were in the bathroom at PF Chang's she had the audacity to tell me "we need to make Sam fall in love with you." I laughed and said that wouldn't happen, why even say that? And she goes, "Because you two are awesome together and would make the perfect couple." I again told her that wouldn't happen, he's not into me.

How stupid can one man be? She's a common whore who plays this innocent game of "hey whatever" but she knows I see right through her, and she knows that Ty does too. But she's going to keep using Sam as long as he continues to fawn all over her. Its bullshit. I don't want to see him hurt again, and I can't do anything about it - that's why I'm so mad.