thinking about school

I just had a moment of anxiety and panic. I was thinking about last month this time, when I was getting ready for school, how I was an emotional wreck. I cried all the way down 95 to campus because I was going through what April and I call "a mental break-up." Basically its when you have your heart set on something, but you realize that it is not going to happen, so you have to get over it. In this case, it was feelings for a guy friend, that I was able to deal with and am now safely back in the friend zone.

Since May, so I guess the last 3 times I went to school I was an emotional basket case as I was going through my anxiety and mild depression phase. Really, my temper tantrum was about not getting my way and having to deal with it. But I have a new plan, and whenever I think about it, I smile. I'm running away... after I graduate I'm running away and I will find my bliss. And in the meantime, I'm going to have as much fun as possible.

However, my moment of anxiety I felt was one I think that came from association. I thought of driving to school tomorrow, and then I was struck with how intense I felt the last 3 times, and a "oh God, please don't let me do that again" feeling. But its not going to happen... I've found my bliss internally and I know that I need to have fun... and this weekend is going to be so much fun! April is staying with me again, and then we are going out Saturday night, and the rest of them are spending the night with me - it's going to be a blast! I love having girlfriends!!!