content (also bowling, week 4)

Talk about a lesson in life.. I learned a big one last night. I ran into my ex online on the website that we met each other on. He had revised his profile, and changed what he is looking for from "friends" to long and short term dating. This happened very recently, as he had revised his profile prior to that on the website.

I couldn't help but ask if within the last two months he's decided that he really is a "rat" and needs to live with other people, opposed to his self-inflicted hamster life of solitude. His only answer was that his profile and he are both a work in progress.

The lesson I learned there, is that no matter what they say to you in a break-up, about not enjoying anything in the world except work, about not really knowing who they are and what they want, and that they've changed, and the big old "it's me, not you" is yet again, a lie.

Yet, as I sit here this morning, writing this blog, I have to laugh at myself for being disappointed. Because in all honesty I was going to offer him an ultimatum on my birthday. Basically, it was that he had an entire year to shape up as being a boyfriend, and figuring out if he wanted to get married to me, and if not, I was walking out, on my 30th birthday. I guess he saved me a year.

But again, I can't make someone want to love me. Karma comes around, and I've seen it happen many times. I like to believe in the Wiccan 3-fold theory, that what you dish out, good or bad, will hit you back 3 times stronger than what you gave. I've seen that prove itself many time before as well. It's not my fight to fight, I just need to worry about me.

On a more interesting note, my average in bowling is now 101! WOOO HOOO.. although I hope I can keep it at 100 for this week, as I bowled a 118, 92, 100. The guy on the other team, Nick, who was up to bowl when I was, kept talking to me on the lane, and he knocked my concentration off. He was sweet, and when I got my strike in the last frame of the game, he and his buddy both cheered for me from the back.

It's interesting, as I wrote my blog complaining about not hearing from a certain friend, I guess word traveled to him. Or, other people were complaining too, as he sent out a mass letter of apology last night, via his blog. Thank you for your comment, Sarah, as I feel the same way too. I wrote him an email in response, as I felt I needed to. I still don't know what it is about him, maybe he impacted my life more than I even know, back in the day, but I crave that connection with him. He's like chocolate to a PMSing woman! I just love talking to him, and hearing what he has to say, and debating - minutes quickly turn to hours.

Oh well, I'm writing early this morning from my home computer.. I'm off to dry my hair and head to work! The benefits of living 7 minutes from where I work! :)

Have a great day everyone!