In honor of Patrick.

I met a man many years ago, who un-known to him, set my life on a direction that I wasn't expecting. Through being constantly challenged in my thinking by him, I started to understand more about the woman I wanted to be, and what I would and would not accept for myself.

I made the comment to him tonight that it just goes to prove that two people can go through the same life experience and get two completely different outcomes from it. He questions my recollection, I question his sanity, but that's a normal argument for us. He's a cocky jackass (don't worry, I'd say that to his face), but in some things he can be very humble, and I think he would dismiss this as to not draw attention to his impact.

I think this may be where the haunting from the song "Man Who Sold the World" comes from for me. Although the rumor is that the song was written about a split personality, one can view it as seeing two perspectives from one subject.

The last year or so for him has been very rough, and I will not go into detail here, as privacy is something he strongly values. But I like to believe that people come back into our lives when we need them, or they need us. I was glad that I was there. As people are living the life they are dealt, they may come and go out of contact with their friends, and that is okay. Because he's touched my life so much, I hate when that happens, and those times sometimes feel like forever. But, that's me being selfish.

The person I reconnected with about a year ago was very different than the man I knew. I really didn't know how to respond, but I did know that me being bratty normally gets him laughing and back on track. I think I've cornered the market on that role, as it's the natural one I fall into anytime he is around. It's a fun game for me to play, where I ask him for outlandish things or try to sweet talk him into my plans, when I know the answer is always going to be in the negative. (My latest attempt I had mentioned in the blog before was the Crater of Diamonds and then Las Vegas.) Honestly, I really don't know what I would do if he ever agreed! I do this because sometimes it's fun to live in the fantasy world, which just gives us a break from the realities we face daily.

It has always saddened me that I couldn't make him see his own value, and that the man he wants to be, is the man he already is. I think that message is hard to hear from me, because again our conversations are usually kept out of that context.

But, like I knew he would, he came out of that rough patch fighting. And I am so happy that he was able to find someone special again. Nothing makes me more happy than to see the people in my life happy.

Congratulations to you, Patrick! I wish you all the love in the world. I can only hope, that I will be so lucky...