I worked one of the Benefit Fairs this morning down in White Oak... very interesting with the pushy Kaiser lady. She kept intercepting the BlueCross customers and telling them they needed to switch to Kaiser right away. It got to the point that the rest of the vendors and I kept snickering about her, making faces whenever she'd start up again. CRAZY! That's just so unprofessional!
I'm excited tonight for Halloween. I'm going to be a pirate, a costume I haven't worn in a few years. I like it because I get to wear my knee high boots and a short skirt - I've got some nice legs to show off! hehe (No one else is tooting my horn, so I have to do it myself!) My chariot is picking me up at 6:30pm, and it's name is Godzilla. I'll just let that marinate for awhile, as this is going to be one hell of a ride!
After the gym in the morning (if I make it out of bed) I'll be baking cupcakes, getting ready for the first Fall Bonfire at Ryan's step-dad's river property. Good times shall be had by all!!
Let the weekend begin!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Hoot and Clowns
I love my new NTL friends from my workshop last week. Shirley sent out pictures that she took over the week, and some group shots of the T-groups. The standing joke that we (I guess you had to be there) thought was so funny, was when my Buddy (with a capital B) Anthony, was telling me about his wild college days from across the bar... it went something like this:
Anthony: "That's right, Amy. I am a rebel. I can sing Sinatra, drink brandy, smoke cigars, and give a guy a clowning when he needs one."
Amy: "A clowning?"
Anthony: "That's right, in the nose, he'll look like Bozo the Clown."
Amy: "Wow, that's impressive."
Anthony: "Yes, you would be impressed."
Stu, Jon, and Dan exchange funny looks.
Dan: "So, Amy, when are you guys going to Bethel for your session?"
Amy: "I think April and I are going in March or April for it."
Dan: "You have to go to Suds, for the "Hoot"!
Amy: "The hoop?"
Dan: "No, the "HOOT".
April: "What's a Hoot?"
Dan: "It's when the locals, living on their cultural island, come to the local bar for open mic night - it's highly entertaining!"
Amy: "Do I get to Hoot if I want?"
Anthony: "I can Hoot, Amy, I learned the fine art of it back in the day."
Amy: "This I have to hear!"
Anthony: "No,no, I don't want to waste it here. And, I have to head home now."
Exit Anthony.
Stu, Jon, and Dan: "Did he say "clown" someone?"
LP: "Yes, he did"
Chris: "WTF!"
Amy, Jon, Stu, Dan, LP, and April burst into a fit of giggles! Thus the NTL Terminology Handbook began.
So, back to Shirley's pictures.. Stu took the one group shot, and put clown noses on everyone, and a reindeer next to Stephen, because he was hit on by a Buck out on the property. Apparently, if you like something you see, it's perfectly acceptable to stomp your foot at it aggressively.
Anthony: "That's right, Amy. I am a rebel. I can sing Sinatra, drink brandy, smoke cigars, and give a guy a clowning when he needs one."
Amy: "A clowning?"
Anthony:
Amy: "Wow, that's impressive."
Anthony: "Yes, you would be impressed."
Stu, Jon, and Dan exchange funny looks.
Dan: "So, Amy, when are you guys going to Bethel for your session?"
Amy: "I think April and I are going in March or April for it."
Dan: "You have to go to Suds, for the "Hoot"!
Amy: "The hoop?"
Dan: "No, the "HOOT".
April: "What's a Hoot?"
Dan: "It's when the locals, living on their cultural island, come to the local bar for open mic night - it's highly entertaining!"
Amy: "Do I get to Hoot if I want?"
Anthony: "I can Hoot, Amy, I learned the fine art of it back in the day."
Amy: "This I have to hear!"
Anthony: "No,no, I don't want to waste it here. And, I have to head home now."
Exit Anthony.
Stu, Jon, and Dan: "Did he say "clown" someone?"
LP: "Yes, he did"
Chris: "WTF!"
Amy, Jon, Stu, Dan, LP, and April burst into a fit of giggles! Thus the NTL Terminology Handbook began.
So, back to Shirley's pictures.. Stu took the one group shot, and put clown noses on everyone, and a reindeer next to Stephen, because he was hit on by a Buck out on the property. Apparently, if you like something you see, it's perfectly acceptable to stomp your foot at it aggressively.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Halloween Costume
I thought I had a Halloween Costume, but then I thought about it some more, and came up with another idea.
My original idea was to be a pirate, as I have the outfit from a few years ago when I wore it. It's a red and black stripe skirt, a white blouse, and a black vest, complete with a scarf and sword. I was going to wear my knee-high boots with it as well.
But then I was thinking that I could be a personal trainer, and wear my workout clothes. Including my bike shorts, sports bra and tshirt, sneakers, towel, water bottle and sweat bands.
Costume number 2, the trainer, would be much more comfortable. And Heather is going to be a pirate wench too, although her costume looks different than mine.
More pondering needs to be done...
My original idea was to be a pirate, as I have the outfit from a few years ago when I wore it. It's a red and black stripe skirt, a white blouse, and a black vest, complete with a scarf and sword. I was going to wear my knee-high boots with it as well.
But then I was thinking that I could be a personal trainer, and wear my workout clothes. Including my bike shorts, sports bra and tshirt, sneakers, towel, water bottle and sweat bands.
Costume number 2, the trainer, would be much more comfortable. And Heather is going to be a pirate wench too, although her costume looks different than mine.
More pondering needs to be done...
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
insulted motivation
Last night I was on okcupid reading public journals, and I stumbled upon a post made by a young male in the army which really pissed me off, but I didn't comment on it at the time.
After a 4 paragraph bunch of nonsense, he finally stumbled on to his thesis: if you are obese, you are unmotivated, undedicated, and unhealthy - all the things that are bad about a person. Then he goes on to ask the question, "who wants to date an unmotivated, undedicated, unhealthy person?" At that point he went on to how important it is to be attractive to other people, and it's our duty to our partner to constantly maintain a state of attraction.
Talk about jumping right to the top of his Ladder of Inference. I get the general gist of his argument, but to be lumped into those three things seemed to be unfair. I don't think anyone would ever use the words "unmotivated, undedicated, and unhealthy" to describe me, and I'm obese. I'm sorry, but part of my job doesn't require me to run 5 miles in full combat gear every morning. Because I am so motivated and dedicated to achieve my goals, I don't always have time to focus on the weight loss one. I do try to get to the gym 3-4 times a week, and when I'm there I'm there pushing myself. And, according to my doctor (knock on wood) I am healthy!
Some people just don't get it....
After a 4 paragraph bunch of nonsense, he finally stumbled on to his thesis: if you are obese, you are unmotivated, undedicated, and unhealthy - all the things that are bad about a person. Then he goes on to ask the question, "who wants to date an unmotivated, undedicated, unhealthy person?" At that point he went on to how important it is to be attractive to other people, and it's our duty to our partner to constantly maintain a state of attraction.
Talk about jumping right to the top of his Ladder of Inference. I get the general gist of his argument, but to be lumped into those three things seemed to be unfair. I don't think anyone would ever use the words "unmotivated, undedicated, and unhealthy" to describe me, and I'm obese. I'm sorry, but part of my job doesn't require me to run 5 miles in full combat gear every morning. Because I am so motivated and dedicated to achieve my goals, I don't always have time to focus on the weight loss one. I do try to get to the gym 3-4 times a week, and when I'm there I'm there pushing myself. And, according to my doctor (knock on wood) I am healthy!
Some people just don't get it....
Monday, October 27, 2008
Back to the grind
What a boring weekend! I worked on finishing my paper all day on Saturday, as the rain poured from the heavens, then got out of the house for a bit on Sunday after emailing my paper off! It's great to have that weight off my shoulders!
I heard from 2 T-group members already - Travis and Stu. Stu sent the most adorable picture of his daughter on the couch with him. Travis is now a facebook buddy of mine, so we update off and on.
I walked back into work this morning with over 100 important emails, and a bunch of not so important ones. Apparently my boss played the "Amy's not here so let's assign her everything" game. My coworkers don't remember that meeting going that way, but that's what the minutes came out as. Lovely.
But - SHE is on vacation all week, so I can get a lot of work done - woooo hoooo! :)
Bowling is tonight, so I'm looking forward to hitting some pins down - gooooooooooooo TEAM! :)
I heard from 2 T-group members already - Travis and Stu. Stu sent the most adorable picture of his daughter on the couch with him. Travis is now a facebook buddy of mine, so we update off and on.
I walked back into work this morning with over 100 important emails, and a bunch of not so important ones. Apparently my boss played the "Amy's not here so let's assign her everything" game. My coworkers don't remember that meeting going that way, but that's what the minutes came out as. Lovely.
But - SHE is on vacation all week, so I can get a lot of work done - woooo hoooo! :)
Bowling is tonight, so I'm looking forward to hitting some pins down - gooooooooooooo TEAM! :)
Friday, October 24, 2008
what an amazing week
I was skeptical of this whole T-Group thing, as everyone who described it to me was incredibly cryptic and mystic about it. But I'll tell the truth - you learn some leadership helpers (things like Johari Window, EI, Ladder of Inference, Conflict Pinch Points, and others) and then you get into your T-Group and talk about what's holding you back. Your block or stick point.
The group's job is to give feedback, based on the behaviors they see from you in the group, for the short time the group has been together. For instance, someone may say, "I'm lazy." (just making things up here to illustrate the point) To which everyone gives feedback helping to share if they see that in you, or if there is something else that they see.
However, seems easy enough, but everyone has a story. And the story needs to come out and be heard by strangers (it's easier that way) in order for people to get past their block point. In order for me to get past my block point. That's a new thing too I learned. People tend to speak in generalities, "you know... as people we...." instead of saying "I know... I feel..." Take ownership of the statement.
I was able to share my story, I did sob during it, but I was able to let it go afterward. I feel different, and people have commented that I look different. My story involved my childhood, my adulthood, and what that means for me at work. I feel at peace now. Which is a good thing.
This experience that I was apart of brought together 22 people who never met before (except for April and I) who walked away with a greater bond then most people have ever formed with their own families. I don't share like that with my friends, or my family.
What I learned, is that I need to create a shield for myself. Not to hide behind, and that is different than having armor. I wasn't protected as a child, and at an early age felt a strong sense to protect everyone else. The first part of the story I shared was about my first memory of feeling an overwhelming need to take care of someone. I was 4 years old, and went to my first ballet class. I was so excited to be there, because I got an awesome new pink outfit, and really cool ballet shoes. I wasn't a child who suffered from separation anxiety, and liked opportunities to show my independence. However, a few of the other little girls in the class weren't that type. I remember trying to dance, and a whole set of the little girls started crying uncontrollably. I started crying too, because I felt so bad that they felt so sad and so alone. So I stopped dancing, and went and sat next to one of the little girls, held her hand, and cried with her so she didn't have to feel like she was alone, since her mom wasn't there.
But, in my quest to protect everyone, I open myself to unruly hurt, and not ever really getting my needs met. So I need to shield myself from that, and start serving myself.
The group's job is to give feedback, based on the behaviors they see from you in the group, for the short time the group has been together. For instance, someone may say, "I'm lazy." (just making things up here to illustrate the point) To which everyone gives feedback helping to share if they see that in you, or if there is something else that they see.
However, seems easy enough, but everyone has a story. And the story needs to come out and be heard by strangers (it's easier that way) in order for people to get past their block point. In order for me to get past my block point. That's a new thing too I learned. People tend to speak in generalities, "you know... as people we...." instead of saying "I know... I feel..." Take ownership of the statement.
I was able to share my story, I did sob during it, but I was able to let it go afterward. I feel different, and people have commented that I look different. My story involved my childhood, my adulthood, and what that means for me at work. I feel at peace now. Which is a good thing.
This experience that I was apart of brought together 22 people who never met before (except for April and I) who walked away with a greater bond then most people have ever formed with their own families. I don't share like that with my friends, or my family.
What I learned, is that I need to create a shield for myself. Not to hide behind, and that is different than having armor. I wasn't protected as a child, and at an early age felt a strong sense to protect everyone else. The first part of the story I shared was about my first memory of feeling an overwhelming need to take care of someone. I was 4 years old, and went to my first ballet class. I was so excited to be there, because I got an awesome new pink outfit, and really cool ballet shoes. I wasn't a child who suffered from separation anxiety, and liked opportunities to show my independence. However, a few of the other little girls in the class weren't that type. I remember trying to dance, and a whole set of the little girls started crying uncontrollably. I started crying too, because I felt so bad that they felt so sad and so alone. So I stopped dancing, and went and sat next to one of the little girls, held her hand, and cried with her so she didn't have to feel like she was alone, since her mom wasn't there.
But, in my quest to protect everyone, I open myself to unruly hurt, and not ever really getting my needs met. So I need to shield myself from that, and start serving myself.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
haikus
So I mentioned this morning that I had some emotion rolling through me that I had to deal with. Now, reflecting back, I've written some haiku's about it...
assumptions in me
offered incorrectly now
block feeling and growth
------------------------------------
why is it so hard
to find my role with you here
this causes me pain
------------------------------------
happiness heals me
fake happiness denies me
living genuinely
------------------------------------
crying is not me
emotion is part of me
feeling hurts sometimes
------------------------------------
i care when you don't
does that make me foolish now
why can't we connect?
------------------------------------
what fault did you find
my mind is playing again
why am i stuck now?
------------------------------------
your distance hurts me
even perceived as a felony
it's not me, it's you
assumptions in me
offered incorrectly now
block feeling and growth
------------------------------------
why is it so hard
to find my role with you here
this causes me pain
------------------------------------
happiness heals me
fake happiness denies me
living genuinely
------------------------------------
crying is not me
emotion is part of me
feeling hurts sometimes
------------------------------------
i care when you don't
does that make me foolish now
why can't we connect?
------------------------------------
what fault did you find
my mind is playing again
why am i stuck now?
------------------------------------
your distance hurts me
even perceived as a felony
it's not me, it's you
HI Day 2 and 3
I actually gave the feedback that I wanted to give to the one guy I mentioned the other day, and I think we've established a working relationship because of it. He's now my T-group Buddy, as he asked me to help him through this transition during our private discussion.
Tonight we had "off", so I went out with the group to dinner in Silver Spring. I didn't realize that area of Silver Spring even was there - new place to shop around the holidays! It also fulfilled my need to mingle with people, and make a more personal connection. I sat at the "guy" end of the table, and we had some very insightful conversation. I don't know, I just like to connect and make friends, and have conversation... and I was able to do that.
Tomorrow, I think I'll start talking about my needs in the group. I didn't have a good morning, and actually cried a little before getting in the shower. I'm not sure what that was about, but I had some realizations about relationships that I've been involved in, and my role in that. Or lack of role in that. But.. it'll all work itself out.
Tonight we had "off", so I went out with the group to dinner in Silver Spring. I didn't realize that area of Silver Spring even was there - new place to shop around the holidays! It also fulfilled my need to mingle with people, and make a more personal connection. I sat at the "guy" end of the table, and we had some very insightful conversation. I don't know, I just like to connect and make friends, and have conversation... and I was able to do that.
Tomorrow, I think I'll start talking about my needs in the group. I didn't have a good morning, and actually cried a little before getting in the shower. I'm not sure what that was about, but I had some realizations about relationships that I've been involved in, and my role in that. Or lack of role in that. But.. it'll all work itself out.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
1st night of HI Lab
The first night of the Human Interaction (HI) lab was tonight, which has been really interesting. I got my first taste of what a T-group is, and it's different. The closet thing I can link it to is group therapy. There isn't an agenda, there isn't a structure, we are just here to sit in a circle and talk about what hinders/helps when working with people.
I'm struggling. They are all managers, and are having team dynamic problems, and problems of perception. My job, as an OD consultant, is to help facilitate that change in perception by working through the client. I want to OD them, and I can't. I'm here to work on me.
I'm trying to formulate what I want to work on about myself, and I haven't found the words yet, but they will come to me. But the general idea is around the fact that I cry when I'm angry, especially when confronted by an authority figure. I think it stems from feeling helpless in the situation, and that I'm being reprimanded for something that I don't have control over. My crying episodes have been around that when they are work related... I'm being held accountable for something I have no right being accountable for, or not involved in, and they are unwilling to bend and see the light. I just have to sit there and take it. This has happened twice to me.
I'm entirely open to feedback, and if it is something I have influence over, and can control, I'll act on it. But when it's out of my hands, I get emotional.
I wanted to give feedback to one guy in the session already - he's a pompous ass. I wanted to tell him that I'm here to work on my issues, because if I had to work for someone like you, you'd make me cry every day - and that's my issue. So I'm happy you are in the session, I'll be able to try out these skills often, but on the same level, I wanted to rip him one. By his own admission, he's the type that if something is going wrong, he uses intimidation, blame, and other aggressive tactics to make someone "feel" horrible so that they can get it right.
Off to sleep, before spending 7am-9pm in my day 2 session!
I'm struggling. They are all managers, and are having team dynamic problems, and problems of perception. My job, as an OD consultant, is to help facilitate that change in perception by working through the client. I want to OD them, and I can't. I'm here to work on me.
I'm trying to formulate what I want to work on about myself, and I haven't found the words yet, but they will come to me. But the general idea is around the fact that I cry when I'm angry, especially when confronted by an authority figure. I think it stems from feeling helpless in the situation, and that I'm being reprimanded for something that I don't have control over. My crying episodes have been around that when they are work related... I'm being held accountable for something I have no right being accountable for, or not involved in, and they are unwilling to bend and see the light. I just have to sit there and take it. This has happened twice to me.
I'm entirely open to feedback, and if it is something I have influence over, and can control, I'll act on it. But when it's out of my hands, I get emotional.
I wanted to give feedback to one guy in the session already - he's a pompous ass. I wanted to tell him that I'm here to work on my issues, because if I had to work for someone like you, you'd make me cry every day - and that's my issue. So I'm happy you are in the session, I'll be able to try out these skills often, but on the same level, I wanted to rip him one. By his own admission, he's the type that if something is going wrong, he uses intimidation, blame, and other aggressive tactics to make someone "feel" horrible so that they can get it right.
Off to sleep, before spending 7am-9pm in my day 2 session!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Fun time for a Friday
I was a little discombobulated this morning... first getting to work in time for the staff meeting, then running off to HHC to another meeting. I'm now using a borrowed cube at HHC to finish my work day, after a few more meetings.
It's been hard for me to focus on work this week, as I really don't have a lot of heavy hitting stuff to do. But I think that balances me out from last month when I was pulling my hair out trying to get the website up and running.
I discovered a new tool, Google Notebook, which I used yesterday when I was researching my final paper for class. It's a window I can toggle in and out of to copy things into... which saves and follows you to any internet connection. Pretty nifty.
I also found a MP3 website that allows you to download the rosary. October (and May) is the month of Mary, and I haven't prayed it in a long while. I figured it would be a good thing to listen to/pray while riding my bike at the gym. I tried it out last night and it worked well. I haven't had a full prayer life in a while... I normally say my prayers in the morning and night, and when I need to give thanks, but I haven't been involved in formal prayer, except for Mass on Sundays. When I add formal prayer to my daily routine, I seem to open myself to more spiritual/emotional things that happen that I don't seem to notice as often when I'm not. It'll be an interesting journey!
It's been hard for me to focus on work this week, as I really don't have a lot of heavy hitting stuff to do. But I think that balances me out from last month when I was pulling my hair out trying to get the website up and running.
I discovered a new tool, Google Notebook, which I used yesterday when I was researching my final paper for class. It's a window I can toggle in and out of to copy things into... which saves and follows you to any internet connection. Pretty nifty.
I also found a MP3 website that allows you to download the rosary. October (and May) is the month of Mary, and I haven't prayed it in a long while. I figured it would be a good thing to listen to/pray while riding my bike at the gym. I tried it out last night and it worked well. I haven't had a full prayer life in a while... I normally say my prayers in the morning and night, and when I need to give thanks, but I haven't been involved in formal prayer, except for Mass on Sundays. When I add formal prayer to my daily routine, I seem to open myself to more spiritual/emotional things that happen that I don't seem to notice as often when I'm not. It'll be an interesting journey!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Dreams
So my friend and I have been talking about dreams, and how I don't necessarily remember mine. His suggestion was to start keeping a piece of paper by my bed, and write down what I remember when I wake up.
I think I'm more prone to remember my dreams if I wake during the dream. This morning seemed to be 2 dreams mixed into one...
I went with my coworkers to check out a new building that MSH was buying and our new office was going to be there. We were trying to understand where our space would be, as most of the walls needed to be converted into the plans. The builder was there, and he was explaining how this huge room used to be the bar/lodge area for the old group, and it was going to be demolished. I explained that actually this area would be perfect for our two training rooms, one large and small, and he and I started talking about the plans for that.
Well, before we could move in, or start the reconfiguring of the rooms, there was one or two people still living in the back of the room, in a separate section. I walked back there to see, and I got sucked into that dream, which changed.
In this dream I was in a small home (which was attached to the other room), laying on the couch because I was really tired. I lived with a guy friend, and he was pissing me off because he brought home this woman last night, and they were making all of this noise on the sofa (not sexual noises, just being goofy). Plus she was really really young, and just wanted him for his money. I hit him, because he was trying to tickle me and pull me into their fun, and I wanted to be left alone. I just remember pulling the heavy blankets farther over my head, and wondering why he was so stupid to fall for her. I got tired of laying there, and went in my room to get my stuff together to take a shower. I remember walking into my room and being pissed because there was stuff everywhere, and I hardly had any room to move, and had no idea where my stuff was. She apparently "arranged" things to better meet her needs, because he told her I wouldn't mind. He followed me into my room, wanting to know what was wrong, and I told him that I was tired of being the third wheel, and just wanted to go home. At that point, she got up to leave, but told him that for her 18th birthday, she'd really like Christmas tree shaped diamond earrings. I looked at him and said, "Seriously?" Then I woke up.
Oh well.... I wonder what will happen tonight! hehe :)
I think I'm more prone to remember my dreams if I wake during the dream. This morning seemed to be 2 dreams mixed into one...
I went with my coworkers to check out a new building that MSH was buying and our new office was going to be there. We were trying to understand where our space would be, as most of the walls needed to be converted into the plans. The builder was there, and he was explaining how this huge room used to be the bar/lodge area for the old group, and it was going to be demolished. I explained that actually this area would be perfect for our two training rooms, one large and small, and he and I started talking about the plans for that.
Well, before we could move in, or start the reconfiguring of the rooms, there was one or two people still living in the back of the room, in a separate section. I walked back there to see, and I got sucked into that dream, which changed.
In this dream I was in a small home (which was attached to the other room), laying on the couch because I was really tired. I lived with a guy friend, and he was pissing me off because he brought home this woman last night, and they were making all of this noise on the sofa (not sexual noises, just being goofy). Plus she was really really young, and just wanted him for his money. I hit him, because he was trying to tickle me and pull me into their fun, and I wanted to be left alone. I just remember pulling the heavy blankets farther over my head, and wondering why he was so stupid to fall for her. I got tired of laying there, and went in my room to get my stuff together to take a shower. I remember walking into my room and being pissed because there was stuff everywhere, and I hardly had any room to move, and had no idea where my stuff was. She apparently "arranged" things to better meet her needs, because he told her I wouldn't mind. He followed me into my room, wanting to know what was wrong, and I told him that I was tired of being the third wheel, and just wanted to go home. At that point, she got up to leave, but told him that for her 18th birthday, she'd really like Christmas tree shaped diamond earrings. I looked at him and said, "Seriously?" Then I woke up.
Oh well.... I wonder what will happen tonight! hehe :)
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Online dating observations
Okay, I learned all about the Ladder of Inference this weekend, and making assumptions about people. So I'm trying to apply what I learn to my every day life and not be judgemental. That's the wrong word. I'm trying to not jump to assumptions on the data that I witness.
But right now, I'm pissed.
So, there I was, with a song stuck in my head, and I decided to blog it on the dating website I belong to. The song, just so happened to be "Sexy Back" - ie "I'm bringing sexy back". Well, some ass felt the need to inform me, within about 2 mins of posting, that based on my weight, he advises me not to bring sexy back. Then some nitwit woman, thought that was incredibly funny - and they proceeded to have an argument on my blog. He told her that she needed to get a comb for her hair, and then it suddenly wasn't funny anymore to her. I deleted the post, as frankly, drama is not for me.
Because I'm a lady, I'm not going to rip that arsehole a new one, because believe me, I can. He has not put a chink in my armor, because I don't define myself by some man's point of view, or any other person really. Actually, I find the whole thing kinda funny. But what I'm pissed about is two things:
1. People who are so stupid to believe that fat people don't know they are fat - so therefore it is their right to point it out. Hello, I have a mirror. And they do so in the 6 year old Beavis and Butthead way.
2. We are on a dating website, where one would think everyone is there to meet people and have fun, and you have a bunch of fools lurking, trying to boost their own self-confidence by "attempting" to make someone else feel bad.
GROW UP PEOPLE!
So apparently, I attract two types of men online - based on my experience: A. Those that just want to f*ck me, and B. Those that feel so bad about themselves, that they have to attempt to put me down to feel like a man.
And you know what - "B" is doing that publicly in front of everyone via the public journal - so that's not making him look too tempting to other women. "Ohhh he's putting another woman down - please date me! Right away, I want to marry you!" Shooting yourself in your own foot is never healthy.
Have you read my profile? Please point out where in it that says I'd be interested in either of those things?
But right now, I'm pissed.
So, there I was, with a song stuck in my head, and I decided to blog it on the dating website I belong to. The song, just so happened to be "Sexy Back" - ie "I'm bringing sexy back". Well, some ass felt the need to inform me, within about 2 mins of posting, that based on my weight, he advises me not to bring sexy back. Then some nitwit woman, thought that was incredibly funny - and they proceeded to have an argument on my blog. He told her that she needed to get a comb for her hair, and then it suddenly wasn't funny anymore to her. I deleted the post, as frankly, drama is not for me.
Because I'm a lady, I'm not going to rip that arsehole a new one, because believe me, I can. He has not put a chink in my armor, because I don't define myself by some man's point of view, or any other person really. Actually, I find the whole thing kinda funny. But what I'm pissed about is two things:
1. People who are so stupid to believe that fat people don't know they are fat - so therefore it is their right to point it out. Hello, I have a mirror. And they do so in the 6 year old Beavis and Butthead way.
2. We are on a dating website, where one would think everyone is there to meet people and have fun, and you have a bunch of fools lurking, trying to boost their own self-confidence by "attempting" to make someone else feel bad.
GROW UP PEOPLE!
So apparently, I attract two types of men online - based on my experience: A. Those that just want to f*ck me, and B. Those that feel so bad about themselves, that they have to attempt to put me down to feel like a man.
And you know what - "B" is doing that publicly in front of everyone via the public journal - so that's not making him look too tempting to other women. "Ohhh he's putting another woman down - please date me! Right away, I want to marry you!" Shooting yourself in your own foot is never healthy.
Have you read my profile? Please point out where in it that says I'd be interested in either of those things?
Bringing Sexy Back
I've officially decided - I am going to take it upon myself to bring sexy back.
Things have gotten out of hand, and true sexiness of a woman has been replaced by the blow-up doll version of reality.
Curves are okay... they are supposed to be there. Don't let your mind get warped by the ironing board!
Things have gotten out of hand, and true sexiness of a woman has been replaced by the blow-up doll version of reality.
Curves are okay... they are supposed to be there. Don't let your mind get warped by the ironing board!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
more to ponder
I moved my seat back down into a lower position today. For me, changing my physical location seems to change my perception. Actually, the seat was moved up when I hurt my back, and now that I'm better, I moved it back down to a more comfortable location.
So, what did I learn today. Well, I almost had a fit when I saw my new syllabus for my next class. More reading than before, and 3 papers - 1 with a presentation if I want an A. She is also so creative as to call that paper "The A Paper". She breaks the class into two categories, and describes what is needed for that grade level, and I'm assuming in a bit of wit, she came up with that name. It's something that I would do, but then again, in my experience you have to be careful with PhD and MD types... they like to be arrogant. This class is about dealing with personality in relationships, and more human interaction information, which I'm really looking forward to learning about.
My intern and I met with our client, and had a very frustrating time of it. We are asking to deliver something that she has no idea what the deliverables are to do. It's like being hired to teach something, and that's all you know - you're here to teach "something". You have no idea what the content is. And when you ask, you get very vague answers that don't connect to each other in any way. I had to get directive with her, and start hammering a structure, otherwise she'd be wasting our time. Especially since this is a huge system-wide initiative, which is going to be highly visible - I had to protect both of our asses. I'm not in the business to set my intern up to fail... what kind of leader would that make me?
I did the weigh-in today, and I'm still the same weight from 2 weeks ago - WOO HOOOO! That's good, as I really haven't had the time to go to the gym, with all of my nightly activities. I wanted to go sometime this weekend, as the hotel normally has a workout room, but I never got the opportunity. My jeans were falling off of me at bowling, so I had to do the "pull-up" dance before my approach down the alley... kinda amusing. We didn't win, again, but I think its a combo of a few things (if you've been reading my blog for awhile, you will notice that I have all of these theories, none of which include that I just suck at bowling... hehe!)- but anyway... 2 theories: 1 - we've been talking about a lot of serious stuff during our table time... which has to do with the nature of the table - it's much smaller, which can create an environment for intimate conversation, which distracts us when we go up to bowl, and 2 - our night changed to a Monday, and Monday's are just tiring days. We used to bowl on a Tuesday, which for some reason may have given us more energy.
During our bowling conversation we talked about a confusion I've been having, and last night I was able to get some clarity. I feel much better about the situation now; I like when roles are defined.
My first paper for the new class has to be on a life altering moment when you learned something about your personality.... having roles defined and knowing exactly what is expected (both professionally and in relationships) is huge for me. Now I just need to track back to where that all started, and write 6 pages on it... almost do a self-diagnosis. More to ponder....
So, what did I learn today. Well, I almost had a fit when I saw my new syllabus for my next class. More reading than before, and 3 papers - 1 with a presentation if I want an A. She is also so creative as to call that paper "The A Paper". She breaks the class into two categories, and describes what is needed for that grade level, and I'm assuming in a bit of wit, she came up with that name. It's something that I would do, but then again, in my experience you have to be careful with PhD and MD types... they like to be arrogant. This class is about dealing with personality in relationships, and more human interaction information, which I'm really looking forward to learning about.
My intern and I met with our client, and had a very frustrating time of it. We are asking to deliver something that she has no idea what the deliverables are to do. It's like being hired to teach something, and that's all you know - you're here to teach "something". You have no idea what the content is. And when you ask, you get very vague answers that don't connect to each other in any way. I had to get directive with her, and start hammering a structure, otherwise she'd be wasting our time. Especially since this is a huge system-wide initiative, which is going to be highly visible - I had to protect both of our asses. I'm not in the business to set my intern up to fail... what kind of leader would that make me?
I did the weigh-in today, and I'm still the same weight from 2 weeks ago - WOO HOOOO! That's good, as I really haven't had the time to go to the gym, with all of my nightly activities. I wanted to go sometime this weekend, as the hotel normally has a workout room, but I never got the opportunity. My jeans were falling off of me at bowling, so I had to do the "pull-up" dance before my approach down the alley... kinda amusing. We didn't win, again, but I think its a combo of a few things (if you've been reading my blog for awhile, you will notice that I have all of these theories, none of which include that I just suck at bowling... hehe!)- but anyway... 2 theories: 1 - we've been talking about a lot of serious stuff during our table time... which has to do with the nature of the table - it's much smaller, which can create an environment for intimate conversation, which distracts us when we go up to bowl, and 2 - our night changed to a Monday, and Monday's are just tiring days. We used to bowl on a Tuesday, which for some reason may have given us more energy.
During our bowling conversation we talked about a confusion I've been having, and last night I was able to get some clarity. I feel much better about the situation now; I like when roles are defined.
My first paper for the new class has to be on a life altering moment when you learned something about your personality.... having roles defined and knowing exactly what is expected (both professionally and in relationships) is huge for me. Now I just need to track back to where that all started, and write 6 pages on it... almost do a self-diagnosis. More to ponder....
Monday, October 13, 2008
endless possibilities
I think sometimes people are very quick to make snap-judgements about others without either knowing all the facts, or leaving themselves open to those judgements changing.
In class this weekend we spent a chunk of time on the Ladder of Inference. Actually, everyone uses the ladder every day, almost every second. It involves seeing a piece of observable data, and then moving all the way up the ladder to take an action based on an assumption. People start using inclusive language as they develop a belief based on the data... from that you get things like, "all blonds are dumb," or "women don't know what they want", based on your personal experience with just one or two, not the entire population.
I've always struggled with putting people in compartments and boxes, because relationships depend a lot on emotions - I can't compartmentalize. Emotions aren't absolutes, there is a strong possibility that I will run the gambit of emotions in every relationship I have. Also, as life happens, perceptions and values evolve. What I see in a potential mate today, is probably not going to be the same thing in the future. It's supposed to happen that way.
Thus why I get frustrated when people start making snap judgements about others and their place in their life. An example of this would be one person seeing someone who currently isn't physically attractive to them, and dismissing them as ever being a possibility. This person can be the perfect mate for them (in personality, by their own omission), but something so small as hair color or their body size, stands in the way of the happiness. Is one physical trait, that you can either buy or change, that important?
In class this weekend we spent a chunk of time on the Ladder of Inference. Actually, everyone uses the ladder every day, almost every second. It involves seeing a piece of observable data, and then moving all the way up the ladder to take an action based on an assumption. People start using inclusive language as they develop a belief based on the data... from that you get things like, "all blonds are dumb," or "women don't know what they want", based on your personal experience with just one or two, not the entire population.
I've always struggled with putting people in compartments and boxes, because relationships depend a lot on emotions - I can't compartmentalize. Emotions aren't absolutes, there is a strong possibility that I will run the gambit of emotions in every relationship I have. Also, as life happens, perceptions and values evolve. What I see in a potential mate today, is probably not going to be the same thing in the future. It's supposed to happen that way.
Thus why I get frustrated when people start making snap judgements about others and their place in their life. An example of this would be one person seeing someone who currently isn't physically attractive to them, and dismissing them as ever being a possibility. This person can be the perfect mate for them (in personality, by their own omission), but something so small as hair color or their body size, stands in the way of the happiness. Is one physical trait, that you can either buy or change, that important?
Sunday, October 12, 2008
1 Class down!
Wow! "Who would've thunk it?" So after a possibility that never seemed would get here, my first class in MSOD is finished! WOOO HOO I have a final paper due in 2 weeks, but the topic is much more focused, so I don't anticipate as much stress/time as the last one.
I'm leaving the second week, before it's due, to go to my Human Interaction (HI) lab at the National Labor College, so I need to finish the paper this week. My classmate, April, is going to the HI lab with me, so we are going to be paper-buddies. This time we have to share our paper with someone, and show that we incorporated their feedback into the paper, and attach their feedback in the appendix. I actually have to do this with 2 people, so I'll be asking one of my coworkers. Luckily, 2 of them were high school teachers, one in English - a bit of an advantage, if I say so.
I went to dinner with my friend Brian on Friday, after class. Well, I should say, after Svenja and I finally found the hotel once we missed the turn. It was like old times! We both started the conversation with, "Ok, so we left prom... and then what happened to you?" Bri and I haven't seen each other in almost 11 years, as he went to my prom with a friend of mine. We've both matured, but he's still a hysterically funny sweetheart. We're going to make dinners a monthly event, which I'm looking forward to. It felt good to have that connection again.
Saturday night I went out with some of the women from class, and after fighting our way through Georgetown, we finally decided to leave the immediate area and go to Cafe Divan up Wisconsin. They had some of my favorite Mediterranean dishes - including hummus, olives, and pita. I think I could live off of hummus, pita, cheese, olives, and olive oil, with some great wine, for the rest of my life, if I had to. I like variety, so hopefully it won't happen that way, but I would if I could.
Both nights, after getting comfy in my hotel room, I fell into wonderful conversation with a new friend. I don't know what it is, but I feel such a great connection, and we have so much to say, that our phone calls/chats go into the early hours of the morning. We also share a lot of the same beliefs on various topics, especially around relationships and human interaction, and spirituality, that it's very refreshing to be around. I'm enjoying myself immensely! :)
I'm leaving the second week, before it's due, to go to my Human Interaction (HI) lab at the National Labor College, so I need to finish the paper this week. My classmate, April, is going to the HI lab with me, so we are going to be paper-buddies. This time we have to share our paper with someone, and show that we incorporated their feedback into the paper, and attach their feedback in the appendix. I actually have to do this with 2 people, so I'll be asking one of my coworkers. Luckily, 2 of them were high school teachers, one in English - a bit of an advantage, if I say so.
I went to dinner with my friend Brian on Friday, after class. Well, I should say, after Svenja and I finally found the hotel once we missed the turn. It was like old times! We both started the conversation with, "Ok, so we left prom... and then what happened to you?" Bri and I haven't seen each other in almost 11 years, as he went to my prom with a friend of mine. We've both matured, but he's still a hysterically funny sweetheart. We're going to make dinners a monthly event, which I'm looking forward to. It felt good to have that connection again.
Saturday night I went out with some of the women from class, and after fighting our way through Georgetown, we finally decided to leave the immediate area and go to Cafe Divan up Wisconsin. They had some of my favorite Mediterranean dishes - including hummus, olives, and pita. I think I could live off of hummus, pita, cheese, olives, and olive oil, with some great wine, for the rest of my life, if I had to. I like variety, so hopefully it won't happen that way, but I would if I could.
Both nights, after getting comfy in my hotel room, I fell into wonderful conversation with a new friend. I don't know what it is, but I feel such a great connection, and we have so much to say, that our phone calls/chats go into the early hours of the morning. We also share a lot of the same beliefs on various topics, especially around relationships and human interaction, and spirituality, that it's very refreshing to be around. I'm enjoying myself immensely! :)
Friday, October 10, 2008
1st day of class - 2nd weekend
Today was a much better start than the last session. The professors seemed to have an agreement on the lessons, and everything seems to be much more structured.
We talked about Ethics and Values, and how we have to be conscious of what happens when they are in conflict. As we go through the program farther, we'll be able to start figuring out what to do during the dilemma, but for now we just discussed.
After class I met up with my friend Brian for dinner, and I hadn't seen him since senior prom! lol it was great to catch up, as we don't get the full spectrum of contact on facebook. He works in DC, so it's really easy for us to grab dinner on the Fridays I'm here and catch up. He's still a sweetheart, and as funny as ever! I had a lot of fun!
I'm loving my hotel room... it's a king size tempur pedic bed, with a more up-to-date look and feel to the hotel. They don't have free wireless, but they do give you an awesome warm cookie when you check-in. Trade off? hmmmm... maybe.
Its nice to just sit and veg, I think I'm going to turn in early tonight and get a nice long sleep... I've been going to bed late at night, and getting up early to facilitate various things at work. Tomorrow is a longer day, with starting at 8:30am and going until 6pm, so I'll need all the rest I can get!
We talked about Ethics and Values, and how we have to be conscious of what happens when they are in conflict. As we go through the program farther, we'll be able to start figuring out what to do during the dilemma, but for now we just discussed.
After class I met up with my friend Brian for dinner, and I hadn't seen him since senior prom! lol it was great to catch up, as we don't get the full spectrum of contact on facebook. He works in DC, so it's really easy for us to grab dinner on the Fridays I'm here and catch up. He's still a sweetheart, and as funny as ever! I had a lot of fun!
I'm loving my hotel room... it's a king size tempur pedic bed, with a more up-to-date look and feel to the hotel. They don't have free wireless, but they do give you an awesome warm cookie when you check-in. Trade off? hmmmm... maybe.
Its nice to just sit and veg, I think I'm going to turn in early tonight and get a nice long sleep... I've been going to bed late at night, and getting up early to facilitate various things at work. Tomorrow is a longer day, with starting at 8:30am and going until 6pm, so I'll need all the rest I can get!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
second weekend
The second weekend of my first class starts tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to heading away for the weekend for it! It's nice to just enjoy the quiet of a hotel room in a busy city and people watch. I almost wish that there was more free time built into the schedule, as it would be nice to find a shady spot and just take it all in sometimes.... especially before the weather gets too cold to really enjoy the outside!
Speaking of the class, I have to print out my 2 papers today, and also print my journal. I'll be printing out my blog, as that is the only journal I use. I added a view counter to the bottom of the page, just to track what kind of hits I'm getting. Apparently I have a few regulars (I don't know the information or who, just that the visitor was a repeat) and a lot of people visit for the first time. I think they either cruise in from the blogger website or link in from my dating profile on okcupid. It's nice to have readers :) I removed the link from the facebook page because I now have coworkers linked as friends, and some things I would rather not share at work. And, considering that they won't stop talking about facebook at work, I made a good decision.
I'm hoping this weekend will go much more smoothly than last class. Hopefully they will keep in mind what we need as students (structure) and be able to give that to us. I'm not a 'J' in my MBTI, but I can be when it comes to goals/accomplishments and getting a grade on something.
On another topic... I facilitated the Active Listening class today for the first time. My coworker (even though she's in GA, she's still my coworker!), Jordan, wrote a kick-ass course, so it was great presenting it today. One thing that struck me about the learning, is that people aren't proactive about determining what their role is in the conversation, before it starts... and doing that small thing really helps you to focus. I'm going to follow that advice, and start asking, "So I can be helpful, would you like me to just listen, give advice, or problem solve with you during the conversation?" It's about ownership people, take ownership! hehe
Speaking of the class, I have to print out my 2 papers today, and also print my journal. I'll be printing out my blog, as that is the only journal I use. I added a view counter to the bottom of the page, just to track what kind of hits I'm getting. Apparently I have a few regulars (I don't know the information or who, just that the visitor was a repeat) and a lot of people visit for the first time. I think they either cruise in from the blogger website or link in from my dating profile on okcupid. It's nice to have readers :) I removed the link from the facebook page because I now have coworkers linked as friends, and some things I would rather not share at work. And, considering that they won't stop talking about facebook at work, I made a good decision.
I'm hoping this weekend will go much more smoothly than last class. Hopefully they will keep in mind what we need as students (structure) and be able to give that to us. I'm not a 'J' in my MBTI, but I can be when it comes to goals/accomplishments and getting a grade on something.
On another topic... I facilitated the Active Listening class today for the first time. My coworker (even though she's in GA, she's still my coworker!), Jordan, wrote a kick-ass course, so it was great presenting it today. One thing that struck me about the learning, is that people aren't proactive about determining what their role is in the conversation, before it starts... and doing that small thing really helps you to focus. I'm going to follow that advice, and start asking, "So I can be helpful, would you like me to just listen, give advice, or problem solve with you during the conversation?" It's about ownership people, take ownership! hehe
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
The countdown begins!
The countdown begins to my second weekend of class! WOOO HOOO! I finished my paper on Sunday night, but I still have to write the abstract, and finish my ethical challenges paper - all which will be done this evening. I also have to print out all my journal entries, as I have to show them in class. They won't be read, but they will be briefly viewed.
It is a BINGO night - so hopefully I'll be winning... as we celebrate the birthday of my Aunt Kass - Happy 60th! She's 6 months younger than my mother, but growing up my mom was able to convince Aunt Kass' children that Aunt Kass is older. (Just as an FYI, she's not my aunt, she's my cousin, but she's always been Aunt Kass to me!)
I literally fell off my chair today. I was zipping around to talk to my coworkers, and I guess I bent too far forward, as down I went, with the chair flying out from behind me! DARN THE WHEELS!
It is a BINGO night - so hopefully I'll be winning... as we celebrate the birthday of my Aunt Kass - Happy 60th! She's 6 months younger than my mother, but growing up my mom was able to convince Aunt Kass' children that Aunt Kass is older. (Just as an FYI, she's not my aunt, she's my cousin, but she's always been Aunt Kass to me!)
I literally fell off my chair today. I was zipping around to talk to my coworkers, and I guess I bent too far forward, as down I went, with the chair flying out from behind me! DARN THE WHEELS!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Expectations...
Well, on Friday, I spoke with Ryan about my list of expectations to see if they were anywhere near realistic for what I was looking for in a man and he showed up last night at the bowling alley with a picture of one for me.... Kermit the Frog.
In other news, I have an intern! He's in a MS program at Hopkins in Organizational Counseling, and as part of the program has to do intern work in an organization. The irony doesn't escape me that I'm mentoring an intern who happens to be in grad school, while I'm in grad school, for a similar degree. He's been tasked to design training for a system-wide mentoring program partnering with an inner city school in Baltimore, and my job is to oversee the process, provide guidance for him on how to design training, and work with him on the final presentation, while navigating the politics. He's also very good at getting me coffee... (JUST KIDDING!)
I'm still lovin' priceline! I went on there today to secure a room for December, and I landed a real chi-chi boutique hotel in Dupont Circle, 4 stars, for around $100 a night. My classmate booked earlier and was able to get it at $82, but $100 is still very good!!! I'm not sure if it's mainstream that grad students are staying in 4 star hotels, but I like a little pampering luxury every now and then... that's how I roll. ;)
In other news, I have an intern! He's in a MS program at Hopkins in Organizational Counseling, and as part of the program has to do intern work in an organization. The irony doesn't escape me that I'm mentoring an intern who happens to be in grad school, while I'm in grad school, for a similar degree. He's been tasked to design training for a system-wide mentoring program partnering with an inner city school in Baltimore, and my job is to oversee the process, provide guidance for him on how to design training, and work with him on the final presentation, while navigating the politics. He's also very good at getting me coffee... (JUST KIDDING!)
I'm still lovin' priceline! I went on there today to secure a room for December, and I landed a real chi-chi boutique hotel in Dupont Circle, 4 stars, for around $100 a night. My classmate booked earlier and was able to get it at $82, but $100 is still very good!!! I'm not sure if it's mainstream that grad students are staying in 4 star hotels, but I like a little pampering luxury every now and then... that's how I roll. ;)
Monday, October 6, 2008
6 Months in my year of 29
This month, on the 29th, marks my 6th month in the year of 29 - a celebration of my last year in my 20s. I noticed this when I happened to look up at my Pug calendar, and saw Count Pugula, Transylvanian Pug of Darkness looking down at me. (Yes, I have a calendar of Pugs dressed up... I'm easily entertained!)
I figured I'd do a status update on everything that has been happening so far:
1. I finally started grad school in September - which is wonderful. I love learning, so that fulfills my need exceptionally well. I'm trying to be proactive and get my work finished early; I'm breaking the pattern. My "part 2" of my class is this coming weekend, so I'll be back in DC again.
2. I've taken on a lot more OD responsibility at work, which I'm finding is where my passion is being fulfilled. I may complain about my problem client, but I can really see the transition in them, and I've gotten a lot of good feedback from the directors. I'm also partnering with my coworkers to begin work in a non-patient setting, so this should be another challenge that I'm undertaking.
3. I've been taking time for myself, and trying not to over-plan, or over-think things. It's been working, but I've had a few relapses, but it'll get better!
4. Bowling is going well - I have my own ball now, and being drilled specifically to my hand is a good thing. My score has increased drastically, with a 20 pin move on my average. It's good to get away and throw heavy objects, joke with my friends, and eat grilled cheese!
5. I've been dating, which is fun... and a learning experience all in itself. I've met some losers, and some winners... and one who just wanted to clean my house naked. Ummm.... yeah. Just so everyone is on the same page, I do not have sex by appointment.
6. I've lost 18lbs so far - and I'm still going to the gym and dieting. I'm trying hard to get below that 20lb mark, and I will get there!
Hmmm... I can't think of anymore right now, but that seems like a lot! I do believe my sparkle is back in my eye ;)
I figured I'd do a status update on everything that has been happening so far:
1. I finally started grad school in September - which is wonderful. I love learning, so that fulfills my need exceptionally well. I'm trying to be proactive and get my work finished early; I'm breaking the pattern. My "part 2" of my class is this coming weekend, so I'll be back in DC again.
2. I've taken on a lot more OD responsibility at work, which I'm finding is where my passion is being fulfilled. I may complain about my problem client, but I can really see the transition in them, and I've gotten a lot of good feedback from the directors. I'm also partnering with my coworkers to begin work in a non-patient setting, so this should be another challenge that I'm undertaking.
3. I've been taking time for myself, and trying not to over-plan, or over-think things. It's been working, but I've had a few relapses, but it'll get better!
4. Bowling is going well - I have my own ball now, and being drilled specifically to my hand is a good thing. My score has increased drastically, with a 20 pin move on my average. It's good to get away and throw heavy objects, joke with my friends, and eat grilled cheese!
5. I've been dating, which is fun... and a learning experience all in itself. I've met some losers, and some winners... and one who just wanted to clean my house naked. Ummm.... yeah. Just so everyone is on the same page, I do not have sex by appointment.
6. I've lost 18lbs so far - and I'm still going to the gym and dieting. I'm trying hard to get below that 20lb mark, and I will get there!
Hmmm... I can't think of anymore right now, but that seems like a lot! I do believe my sparkle is back in my eye ;)
Sunday, October 5, 2008
this is my concerned face --> :oP
I finally finished my paper! It's a moment of excitement as I feel a sense of accomplishment. Although, it's not exploring my original idea, I still think it's 1/2 way decent.
I found an interesting study that I wanted to include in my paper, but it only would work with my old thesis, not the one I currently used. The study was used to determine what happens to empathy when people join organizations. They tested a group of 1st year residents, and then gave them the same survey in their 3rd year. The level of personal empathy in them dropped considerably. The study concluded that the more educated you become, the less empathetic you are. (That was the abbreviated version of the study, it was actually long and involved in more scientific than what I described.) I was going to use this to try to explain why my problem children can't get along with their co-workers; as in the healing profession, the norm would be to assume a high level of empathy. Oh well, I'll save it for another paper.
The Confirmation program at my church kicked-off today after 9am Mass with a parent/child/teacher meeting. I called it when I said they would be quiet and shy, but on the 26th, when the parents aren't there, will be the true test of their behavior. Hopefully I won't have to pull my hair out this year... :) I am really patient, but they like a lot of negative attention... maybe my empathy is waning.. hehe
I also got a new phone today! WOO HOOO! It's a pink Venus, and I really like it. I already got to try out the text feature and a phone call this evening, so everything appears to be working well! WOO HOOO!
And my favorite purchase of the day... Glenda the Good Witch Book Plates! Too cute! :)
I found an interesting study that I wanted to include in my paper, but it only would work with my old thesis, not the one I currently used. The study was used to determine what happens to empathy when people join organizations. They tested a group of 1st year residents, and then gave them the same survey in their 3rd year. The level of personal empathy in them dropped considerably. The study concluded that the more educated you become, the less empathetic you are. (That was the abbreviated version of the study, it was actually long and involved in more scientific than what I described.) I was going to use this to try to explain why my problem children can't get along with their co-workers; as in the healing profession, the norm would be to assume a high level of empathy. Oh well, I'll save it for another paper.
The Confirmation program at my church kicked-off today after 9am Mass with a parent/child/teacher meeting. I called it when I said they would be quiet and shy, but on the 26th, when the parents aren't there, will be the true test of their behavior. Hopefully I won't have to pull my hair out this year... :) I am really patient, but they like a lot of negative attention... maybe my empathy is waning.. hehe
I also got a new phone today! WOO HOOO! It's a pink Venus, and I really like it. I already got to try out the text feature and a phone call this evening, so everything appears to be working well! WOO HOOO!
And my favorite purchase of the day... Glenda the Good Witch Book Plates! Too cute! :)
loving fall saturdays
After spending almost 24 straight hours up, as I didn't go to bed until 4am this morning, due to being lost in conversation with a pretty cool dude... I crawled out of bed around 7:30am to head to the Darlington Apple Festival.
Well, I guess I should take a step back and add that I decided that today was going to be about me. I was going to do what I wanted to do, and not worry about school, or any of my other obligations or projects.
With that said, I spent the early morning into afternoon in Darlington, enjoying the beautiful weather and a hot apple dumpling with a side of vanilla ice cream. We took the scenic route to Towson from Harford County, along winding and beautiful Harford Road. After a quick pit-stop lunch, we made it just in time for the Olympian Parade - ironically called the "Parade of Gold".
If anyone ever asks me, I will deny being there, as I am not a member of the "Phan" club, but there were two intriguing moments for me. The first is turning the corner from Burke onto York Rd, looking up the hill, and seeing two fire engines with ladders extended and our flag hung between them. It was huge! An awe inspiring sight! The second is when Phelps closed the parade, cleared the corner, and a wosh of energy from the audience rushed to the hummer. His face was priceless, as a look of fear crossed.
From there I recouped with a nap, before heading out to meet Mr. 4am himself for a quick bite and drinks. I forgot what a night out in Canton is like, as we witnessed a fight, overheard a lot of drama, and he got to see one man peeing on the wall! But overall it was an awesome time, and I'm glad I went. I love meeting new people, especially when they are quality.
Tomorrow I have a date with my research paper... how lame.
Well, I guess I should take a step back and add that I decided that today was going to be about me. I was going to do what I wanted to do, and not worry about school, or any of my other obligations or projects.
With that said, I spent the early morning into afternoon in Darlington, enjoying the beautiful weather and a hot apple dumpling with a side of vanilla ice cream. We took the scenic route to Towson from Harford County, along winding and beautiful Harford Road. After a quick pit-stop lunch, we made it just in time for the Olympian Parade - ironically called the "Parade of Gold".
If anyone ever asks me, I will deny being there, as I am not a member of the "Phan" club, but there were two intriguing moments for me. The first is turning the corner from Burke onto York Rd, looking up the hill, and seeing two fire engines with ladders extended and our flag hung between them. It was huge! An awe inspiring sight! The second is when Phelps closed the parade, cleared the corner, and a wosh of energy from the audience rushed to the hummer. His face was priceless, as a look of fear crossed.
From there I recouped with a nap, before heading out to meet Mr. 4am himself for a quick bite and drinks. I forgot what a night out in Canton is like, as we witnessed a fight, overheard a lot of drama, and he got to see one man peeing on the wall! But overall it was an awesome time, and I'm glad I went. I love meeting new people, especially when they are quality.
Tomorrow I have a date with my research paper... how lame.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Can't wait for the weekend!
I went out with Stacey last night, and it was good to catch up with her, since I haven't seen her since March. She caught me up on the happenings among my ex's friends, and it was really good to see her again! She and I got along well, and I missed her. Hopefully there will be more happenings on the agenda!
Tonight I'm getting my haircut, and then more homework. I've been reading a little bit, or writing most every night, so I'm keeping up with everything... but class is next weekend! Time flies.
I'm going to see an old friend the Friday night of class for happy hour - I haven't seen him since high school, so it would be great to catch up. He works in DC, and apparently very close to where I am staying, so it's convenient.
Tomorrow I'm going to the Darlington Apple Festival, then the Olympian Parade in Towson. Not sure what I'm doing Saturday night, but hopefully I'll be meeting up with some friends.
Sunday is my first confirmation class, with the parents and students. That's always exciting as they hear my expectations, and they sit, very docile, through the whole thing. Then I have them soon after without adult supervision and all hell breaks out. Patience is a virtue!
Speaking of expectations, I've been thinking about what I would want from a significant other, if I had a wish list. Here's my list... if you know any available men that fit 90% of the description, send them my way:
1. At least a bachelor's degree or higher
2. Awesome sense of humor - at life and himself
3. Goal oriented and driven to succeed
4. Employed in a professional capacity
5. Has a moral sense - I don't mean that as "Christ-like" - I mean that as not out in the world doing harm to others to get a head, ethical
6. Open-minded to other view-points
7. Enjoys sports and culture, and likes going places and doing things
8. Likes to travel
9. Can be really sweet, but also not let me run over him, and give me hell when I need to hear it
10. Is mature enough to take to my work functions, but can still be playful
11. Doesn't mind that I'm involved in my catholic faith - as I'm not trying to convert anyone
12. Enjoys lots and lots of sex, and is willing to experiment (I know, TMI)
13. Values relationships with family and friends
.... we'll see.
Tonight I'm getting my haircut, and then more homework. I've been reading a little bit, or writing most every night, so I'm keeping up with everything... but class is next weekend! Time flies.
I'm going to see an old friend the Friday night of class for happy hour - I haven't seen him since high school, so it would be great to catch up. He works in DC, and apparently very close to where I am staying, so it's convenient.
Tomorrow I'm going to the Darlington Apple Festival, then the Olympian Parade in Towson. Not sure what I'm doing Saturday night, but hopefully I'll be meeting up with some friends.
Sunday is my first confirmation class, with the parents and students. That's always exciting as they hear my expectations, and they sit, very docile, through the whole thing. Then I have them soon after without adult supervision and all hell breaks out. Patience is a virtue!
Speaking of expectations, I've been thinking about what I would want from a significant other, if I had a wish list. Here's my list... if you know any available men that fit 90% of the description, send them my way:
1. At least a bachelor's degree or higher
2. Awesome sense of humor - at life and himself
3. Goal oriented and driven to succeed
4. Employed in a professional capacity
5. Has a moral sense - I don't mean that as "Christ-like" - I mean that as not out in the world doing harm to others to get a head, ethical
6. Open-minded to other view-points
7. Enjoys sports and culture, and likes going places and doing things
8. Likes to travel
9. Can be really sweet, but also not let me run over him, and give me hell when I need to hear it
10. Is mature enough to take to my work functions, but can still be playful
11. Doesn't mind that I'm involved in my catholic faith - as I'm not trying to convert anyone
12. Enjoys lots and lots of sex, and is willing to experiment (I know, TMI)
13. Values relationships with family and friends
.... we'll see.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
shiny things
If there is any day that I could have stayed in bed and slept longer, today would have been it. I don't know what it is, but I've been staying up late listening to music, and chatting online, that I've been losing track of time. Maybe I just need the mental escape.
I heard back from my professor, and now I'm right on track with my thesis statement. I was talking to my coworker about it, and it's almost if they are forcing me to write as if I'm not in the business and I don't know anything. I can act dumb, I've been playing that role for years. Oh well, whatever I need to do to get it done!
There is so much going on this month. I always feel like I have to pick and choose, as there is never time for all the fun Fall events. Now with school, and most of my weekend time zapped for homework, it's even more strapped.
Here are few items I'm trying to work in: Darlington Apple Festival, Olympian Parade, CornMaze (no, I haven't picked a date yet), STOMP festival at Sugarloaf, my weekend at school, Halloween party, my first Confirmation class with the kids, my week long workshop away, a few Bonfires.... oh, and did I mention that I work a full time job? hehe
I bought myself the Serenity Bracelet the other day at Hallmark. For those longtime followers of my blog, this is the same gift that I got my confirmation candidate in April. I've done some research, and the abbreviated version that I learned in high school is not the full prayer. The bracelet has another verse, and reads:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.
The prayer goes on from there, in other versus, but that section is what really speaks to me - Living in the moment!
Speaking of jewelery, the Walters Art Gallery is hosting "Bedazzled: 5,000 years of Jewelry" starting in October too.... ohhhh shiny things!
I heard back from my professor, and now I'm right on track with my thesis statement. I was talking to my coworker about it, and it's almost if they are forcing me to write as if I'm not in the business and I don't know anything. I can act dumb, I've been playing that role for years. Oh well, whatever I need to do to get it done!
There is so much going on this month. I always feel like I have to pick and choose, as there is never time for all the fun Fall events. Now with school, and most of my weekend time zapped for homework, it's even more strapped.
Here are few items I'm trying to work in: Darlington Apple Festival, Olympian Parade, CornMaze (no, I haven't picked a date yet), STOMP festival at Sugarloaf, my weekend at school, Halloween party, my first Confirmation class with the kids, my week long workshop away, a few Bonfires.... oh, and did I mention that I work a full time job? hehe
I bought myself the Serenity Bracelet the other day at Hallmark. For those longtime followers of my blog, this is the same gift that I got my confirmation candidate in April. I've done some research, and the abbreviated version that I learned in high school is not the full prayer. The bracelet has another verse, and reads:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.
The prayer goes on from there, in other versus, but that section is what really speaks to me - Living in the moment!
Speaking of jewelery, the Walters Art Gallery is hosting "Bedazzled: 5,000 years of Jewelry" starting in October too.... ohhhh shiny things!
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