endless possibilities

I think sometimes people are very quick to make snap-judgements about others without either knowing all the facts, or leaving themselves open to those judgements changing.

In class this weekend we spent a chunk of time on the Ladder of Inference. Actually, everyone uses the ladder every day, almost every second. It involves seeing a piece of observable data, and then moving all the way up the ladder to take an action based on an assumption. People start using inclusive language as they develop a belief based on the data... from that you get things like, "all blonds are dumb," or "women don't know what they want", based on your personal experience with just one or two, not the entire population.

I've always struggled with putting people in compartments and boxes, because relationships depend a lot on emotions - I can't compartmentalize. Emotions aren't absolutes, there is a strong possibility that I will run the gambit of emotions in every relationship I have. Also, as life happens, perceptions and values evolve. What I see in a potential mate today, is probably not going to be the same thing in the future. It's supposed to happen that way.

Thus why I get frustrated when people start making snap judgements about others and their place in their life. An example of this would be one person seeing someone who currently isn't physically attractive to them, and dismissing them as ever being a possibility. This person can be the perfect mate for them (in personality, by their own omission), but something so small as hair color or their body size, stands in the way of the happiness. Is one physical trait, that you can either buy or change, that important?